nEw sToRy..

dA tOts/..mY feeLinGs..

2005-04-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

hmmms.... firstly..a reaL biGGGG tHanKiEw.. tO peIshAn... fIoN...yI...eE tIan.. sEaN.. x.P...aLeX.. for accompanying me that particular nite.. to let all of u see my tears falling..it's such an embarrasing sight.. well..tink it's just the time when i cant take it anemore and gotta let it out.. thanks for not blaming me but accompanied me late thru the nite.. telling me jokes and comforting me... esp the warm n comforting hug by fiOn n peIshaN.. love u gerls.. realli my sisters.. =) ... hope notink will break our frenship... *praYing haRd* .. school's starting.. and not much time to be spent tog.. maybe we shud treasure all the times we are having now.. i don care wad realli happens in the future... but still i wanna repeat this.. for every single tinks you've all done for me.. i'll nvr forget in my entire life.. thanks gerLs.. n rem.. i'll owaes be there for all of u too..
well... guess tinks haf worked out.. n its the one last time.. i hope promises made will be kept and not broken... i wanna treasure all i haf now.. including you.. the important piece of puzzle in my heart.. without u.. my life will nvr be complete.. just wan you to know...no matter how tiring it's going to get.. we will walk through this tog..
hmmms... had nice daes hanging out with the gerls past few nites.. n tmr's another dae.. i'll nvr get bored.. cos i noe..these moments will nvr last long..i wanna have it while i can.. =) ... thankiew for putting in the effort.. children's been real good these few daes... but i aint feeling well.. everyone's dere just so pleasant.. and just so nice and caring.. except for 3.. hmmms... we'll see how it goes.. am feeling tired oreadi... nites ppl.. and my other gerls... carOl.. fI.. LucY n susIe.. miss u all loadies.. pls make yrself free... and we'll be out some dae.. =D

haPpiE b'DaE tO wEiMiN kOr~...*sorrie i missed it out..but i promise we'll meet somedae too..*

n haPpiE beLaTed b'DaE tO eMiLi... taKe caRe all.. =)

fiNaLLy..nEw cOm..oLd liFe..uPs..n dOwns..

2005-04-24T02:50:00.000-07:00

well well well.... i've not been updating for soooo loong can... cos my com's broken down... and i'm using a neW one rite now!!... yeaaa man~... hahahas.. hmmms..life's been up..and down..like on a roller coaster ride..haiis... up as in i'm good or even betta with my childcare.. and the kids... dey have a special bond with me now..and oni me... their tchr... i'm prOud of it... of my cLass.. i've made a few achievements...tt's wad RacHeL said too... hees... am glad... =D... hmmms... 2 tchrs and 2 aunties asked me to be their gan nu er..hees... i agreed..so i have 4 kai mas at one go.. hahas... and they protect and pamper me alot alot.. hahas... and they owaes stand up for me... as sOME ppl are just so irritaing and FAKE.haas.
but life... for tt side...has been really...dOWN.. and i mean DOWN. it sucks..totally... haiis.. so bored...dono wad else to tok abt man..seems to have so much to update... hahas..sians... had a terrible sat todae.. realli a terrible one... dono wad to sae.. jus noe... its one of the worse cases i guess... maybe..it isnt realli going anewhere.. yars?... dono?... AAARRRGGGHHHHSSSSS...
just so confusing... missin my other side of gerLs alot alot... and missing carteL staffs too... will meet up somedae k... somEdaE..
going to get ready for my practicum le.. haiss.. hope i'll do well... recieve my dip.. and have my own life... =S..
life's been great.. but yet so bad.. hmmmmsss...

waD's liFe all aBt?...

i gaiNed... buT.. i lOst tOo....

feeLiNg a littLe.. aFraId..

2005-04-14T01:38:00.000-07:00

well... been some tired daes... working... plus slacking... running here and dere... but its been good time slacking with the gerls... and the guys...hmmms... and tmr's the dae... the dae i mite even noe more abt wad's happening... feeling kinda afraid... but tink dere's nth wrong..for it's owaes been okae i guess... haiis... just feeling kinda stressed... and tired... mite take cab to there tmr... and i'm asking back for my mOney tmr!!!... yeS~... and i'm bringing gerls and guys down too... see wad can they do... i tink i'll request the money rite on the spot... stRaighT caSH!... humpphs..its been awhile since i've been online in he middle of the nite on a weekdae... normally at this point of time.. i'm deaD asleep.. hahahas.. like a piG... hmmms... not feeling well... having sore throat... realli uncomfortable... haiiss... sooo suaY~.... anewae... hope to haf a fun dae out tmr.. except tt 2 blardie trips... =X... kk..take care ppl... miss all of ya...
esP jIe~... come out soon yeaa.. miss ya~~!!!

*`- bU guAn aI nI yOu dUo naN... wO dOu bU huI tInG zHi aI nI....-`*

`-!a daE oUt..!-`

2005-04-10T12:27:00.000-07:00

well well... yest... i did went out... i met up with fiOn... went to have our dinner at PasTamAniA.. it was so damn filling... and den we went to catch the movie 'tHe saMaRa'~~.... yeAaaa!!!... and next we've got so many more shows tt we wanna catch... 'tHe paCifIeR'...'tHe hOusE oF waX'... ahahahas... yeaaa man... saMaRa iS nice man... though we covered our ears and eyes thruout the show... *mOstLy* la...hahas... and i hatE the part whereby the stupid woman was scratching on the wall... *nnB*... the sound sucks totally man... WtH... den after tt.. met up with dEardEar... had a talk... den we went out again... wiTh sEaN..fiOn...wEiQiaNg...keLviN... a little bo liaos... they went all the wae to ChanGi viLLage den ta pau tinks to eat at SeLetaR... tmD... half wae got police stop our car at one side... den wan to check us... *NB* maybe..we look like all underage...muahahahs... oh well... we didn't let it spoil our trip... we went to seLetaR resErvOir dere... and had their food... while i had a bag of potato chipS!!...hahahas... den we went hoMe le... *dOts*... but quite okae la... and later i'm going roLLer bLading with fiOn!!... hahahas... just cant wait... had a nice nite out yest... though there were unhappy tinks... but it's all over le... i'm really glad... cos i found out... i've really changed alot... =P... happie for myself... and i hope... deArdEar would keep his pRomise too... =X.. hahas.. and he's sicK... hoPe he'll get well soOn... nite time meeting him... *muAacCCkKkksSssss*
|Ove HiM*

oH weLL....

2005-04-09T14:16:00.000-07:00

heyass... well... been havin tummy cramps from yest till now.. jus took painkillers... haiss... i cant imagine my daes with no painkillers... tink i'll get killed by the pain instead... not in a good mood... no appetite... feeling so low... so stupid...haiis...dono whyee... i'm just back from work... but i dread the fact tt i cant meet him...i jus hate the feeling... its owaes the weekends den we got the chance to meet... but yet... we cant do it now.. cos he wanna work on sats n suns.. WTF?! i don even understand why he's doing tt when he oreadi promised me sats and suns he'll keep it of jus like me... so as to accompany each other... and now.. he broke the promise... owaes do... haiss.... /// forget it... maybe its fated... maybe..its all just for us to be in it awae from each other... he's got no time for me... and i'm getting rather tired from all the running down to 230 just to meet him... my transport fees is getting very very high... though i may not mind in the past... but now... i've got other responsibilities at home... i gotta tink twice for everytink... i don get it... will he ever understand?... we are just like two different poles of ppl... he's the north and i'm the south... it seems tt we 2 poles will nvr meet in one decision... hais... just feel so confused... noe he's good... but still... haiis... dono..maybe...it was nvr meant to be?... wadeva... and oh well... i needa rest... i'm too weak now.. hais.. take care ppl... or maybe i'll be out..i don care if i faint in the streets or wad... i jus cant stae at home and tink abt him... it's just too much le... haiis... miss all ppl... and soRrY MiN.. maybe i'm just not in the mood to shop..love ya..sOrrY.

hMmmsS.. sTh tO taLk abt?..

2005-04-07T20:24:00.000-07:00

yeaa... it's me again.. well.. more tots of the dae.. hahas.. nice dae working... tired again... but which dae will be not tired?.. haiis... it's okae..i enjoy tis job and the ppl dere anewae... hahas... children driving me crazy... but make me wanna laugh too... sumtimes... they can get just so outta hand and hard to control... makes me wanna give up... but sumtimes... a little mischief makes them more lively... and when they sleep.. simply just cute small angels... but they are a bunch of devils when they run wild... seen 2 cute reactions from 2 children todae... hahas.. faNg jIe became my baby... cos he woke up very very blur... afraid to let him walk and scared tt he'll fall... so i carried him.. hahas.. but he can be quite cute too... when he went home todae he gave me a kiss.. hahas on my cheek..so cute and sweet of him.. and somehow..my dae is den brightened.. kids can realli briten up yr dae... or make u pissed the whole dae... i tink... children are innocent beings... and if only..all humans can be the same.. esp adults.. and teens.. can they ever grow to be without doing tinks with a ulterior motive?... can they be as SiMpLe minded?... and not tt cOmpLicaTeD.. hmms... maybe..tt's how we learn... tt's how gOd wans us to choose ppl properly... tt's how hE wans us to know the different kinds of ppl who can be formed due to different environments.. different family... different influences.. hahas.. yea... missing cartel frens so much... missing AIT frens so much... missing all those i've missed sooo much... wanna meet up with you all soon... know we are all busy..but we'll squeeze some time out yeaa?... take care ppl.. *HuUUgggSSs...*

*-` yOu dE reN sHuO bU qiNg nA Li haO..daN jIu sHi shUi dOu tI dAi bU LiaO.. `-*

`!= pRecIoUs tOtsss... =!`

2005-04-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

heyass... am so tired.. saT sOrking too.. but luckily oni 5 hourS... well... fun...but tiRing too.. haiis.. stressed out.. so much woRk.. nvm... anewae.. regarding my previous entry... i'm indicating to some other ppl yar... don tink too much.. and also... thaNkS to fIoN..mUmmIe and yI.. hees.. sorrie i missed you babes out... *huGggsSss* hmmms... well...got sth to write again..

i learnt alot while working yea?... seen more kinds of ppl... how cruel... how FAKE a person can be.. but... i noe there are definately some others who can warm yr heart and cheer up yr dae.. thanks to JaneT.. she lead me to see tinks more properly... how to handle tinks better... i miss naNcY n kaLmajiT too... hais..hope they are stiu okae derE.. anewae.. i realised tt overlooking one's imperfections is the wae to avoid all quarrels and the wae to see one's perfections... tt's when we will realli take notice the goods of the others rather den all the bad points they have... cos i've experienced it myself... sometinks are realli betta left unsaid in order not to hurt someone..but somehow..u've got to let dem noe where dey went wrong yea?.. hmmms... dono... and somehow.. if you wanna tell the person sth... dey mite misunderstand and just twist the fact the other wae round so u'll be the one at fault and in the end... all the unwanted quarrels start out.. hais..humans are cOntrAdIcTiNg... and as fiCkLe miNded too..you'll nvr noe wad are their next actions gonna be.... hmmms.. maybe i shud jus end off with one sentence...
" nvr blame one another for wad happen... just tink of wad happened a moment ago... and figure out if dere's anetink wrong with wad u did... if you insist "nO"...den let the other person figure it out demself.. nth will be solved in a fite or argument..a nice talk may just iron all tinks out.. =) "

anewae...haPpiE 4tH aNni tO 'wO dE tA'.. LoVe yOu lOotSss... *MuaACcKkksSss*

-!`tRusT?..yOu lOst miNe..`!-

2005-04-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

well.. just wanna voice out sometinks.. i feel that words are real CHEAP!.. n LOOKS ARE DECIEVING~i dono why.. i just feel that yOu look so reaL..yet sOund sO FAKE.. i dono wad to sae.. i jus feel that yOu lost MY trust in you.. maybe.. i should just stop treating you like my bestie.. confiding you in wadeva i'm happie or unhappie abt.. i dono when will you just turn and stab me from the back yea?..hahas.. i've been a FOOL. yes.i mean it. i just got to realise this these few daes.. i'm wanted only when you needed me..if not.. i'm out. wad's this. i'd rather have real true frens who are true to me..stand by me.. one moment you can smile and talk bad abt tt person..while on the other hand you are so good with her?.. hahas.. tt's so FAKE. so CONTRADICTING. pls. make up your mind. don understand why must you be so FICKLE MINDED. i've had enough of your rubbish and stuffs. i don tink you deserve my trust. somehow..i do hate you..while on the other hand.. i don. i'm CONFUSED. but i noe for sure you aint a real person.. cos you have no true feelings towards a person you called 'FREN'..you're just another useless creature on eaRth. feel so sick of you cos you aint real. NOT AT ALL. like wad naNcY and JaNet told me.. " yOu caN meet aLL kiNds oF ppL iN thIs woRld..yoU'll nvR nOe waD thEy'll dO tO yOu.." trUe enuF. YOU ARE ONE OF THE KIND I DON WANNA MEET. haas. enuf of it.

aneWae.. thaNks mIn.. wEn.. JesS.. yInx.. eM.. JoaN.. tEnG.. LoNg kOR.. MeNg koR.. LeaNg kOr.. fOr leTtiNg mE nOe tHaT theRe arE aTiLL ppL liKe you aLL iN thIs woRld.. ppL whOm i trUeLy caLL mY "freNs". ppL whO stOoD bY mE.. sMiLEd..laUghEd and cRiEd wiTh mE.. ppL whoM nvR gaVe mE uP.. ppL whoM encOuraGed mE wHeNevA i'M LosT.. ppL whO coMfoRt mE wHeNevA i'M dOwn.. N ppL whO cHoSe tO waLk oN wiTh mE.. gIviNg mE aLL thE suPporTs iN thE whOle wOrld.. sincerely.. I tHanK yOu aLL aGain..

`!weIrDoSss..!`

2005-04-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

okaeee... todae's fri... the last dae of my work in this week... screamed like anetink this whole week... guess my voice's gonna spoil.. haiis... now they are realli afraid of me le.. anewae..this gerl seLeSt realli dono how to behave.. n tt faNg jiE too... hmmmss... but now..i noe the wae... *muahahahs*.. so evil... hmmms.. for their own good oso mahs... haiis... quite stressful working in a childcare.. you have to answer to their parents... to their grandparents... and nowadays parents treat their child like goLD!!.. one small mosquito bite oso need to apply medicine.. okae mind u.. jusT oNE sMaLL MOSQUITO bite oni okae.... omG~... no wonder children are all so spoilt... but dere are nice n cute n good ones.. well.. anewae... had total of 4 weirdos looking into the windows and following me arnd as i bring the class from one place to another.. and aUntIe sUsaN noes and she's laughing.. *dOTSss* not funnie lor!...hahas.. haiiss.. sure are weiRdOS.. crazee... stare at me like an animal in a zOo..~..
haiis.. missing deArdEaR..he's in hOnG kOnG now... tmr nite will arrive back... hope so bahs.. missing him like hell... misS his vOicE.. sMiLe... hiS faCe.. haiis... lots n lotss.. yuEn lAi aI yI gE reN shI..daNg tA bU zaI nI sHeN bIaN nI hUi na mE xIaNg tA dE.. haiiss.. hope to see him soon.. miss the hugs he gives me... to comfort me and tell me everytink's all rite and will be okae.... haiis.. okok...tired le..take care ppL... nitEss!!..

LosT mY vOicE..

2005-03-28T19:07:00.000-08:00

er hums.. i shi shen le.. lOst my voice ... cos i screamed like hell todae.. N2s are realli a handful.. having a bad headache.. feel so stressed.. wOrk..n hiM.. haiis.. i dono wad to do le.. realli dono.. and i cant find ane clothes to wear to work.. formal.. can u imagine it?... i'm going to buy clothes.. haiis..
n i dOn mean tT..i mean the other wae... dO yOu uNdersTaNd?!!.. whyee isit we owaes haf a communication breakdown..n i tink i mean nth more to you anemore.. cOs.. u can choose to ignore me.. i gif up. i feel like shit. i feel like crying.. feel so useless.. haiis. bye

sTupiD..

2005-03-27T20:44:00.000-08:00

STUPID. YOU ALL WERE THE ONES WHO GAVE THE INSTRUCTIONS..NOW DERE'S A PROBLEM..I'M GETTING BLAMED.OKAE.FINE.
mY faULT OKAE.
EVERYTINK'S MY FAULT.HATE IT.
ALWAYS I'M THE ONE WHO'S IN THE WRONG.
I HATE OF ALL YOU.
LIFE JUST SIMPLY SUCKS.

`cHoking oN mY owN tearS...feeL sO doWn..i'm LosT in Love.. curRentLy.. ouT oF iT.. byebye..taKe caRe..*!! leave me aLone..!!* =|`

..haiissss...

2005-03-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

had a wOnderFul frI n saT... =) frI i was out with jOaN darLing... wEnt to PS to catch tHe eYe 10... in da end the queue was too long..so we decided to go to ShaW hOusE.. and we queued for ages den finally..we got the 5.30m tiCkets...while waiting for the show to start... we went to baKerZin to eat.. oMg.. the food was extremely nice.. had a fuLL meaL.. hahas.. den shoPped arNd.. den went bacK foR the show.. hahas.. the show was nicE.. hiLarous n a LittLe scary.. aFt tt we tOok bus back to taMpines for the mass Line daNce sEssIon.. i'm joining them le.. eVeRy frI..saTs n sUns... tiNk sO..pluS mE n darLin jOan jOining oTher daNce cLassEs.. finaLLy i haF tiMe fOr dose.. =Pp..
saT.. was a dae out with deArdEar.. he came over to my house while i'm doing all the housework... den we weNt to taMpinEs to check out my phone prices.. aFt tt we went off to WhiTe saNds to return my overduE bOoks.. den deArdEaR went hOme to bathe... den met up with fiOn and SeaN.. went to fUnan.. wiTh weI qIanG n caLista.. weNt bacK 230 deN met up with otHers laTer at niTe.. and we weNt to catch mOvie tHe eYe 10 again!!.. fOr me.. - -"'.. hahaSs.. 13 oF uS watcHing tHe sHow toGethA.. 5 couples n 3 singLes.. =X.. deN went to geyLanG for a stoll and went to goLden miLe for a pool/biLLard sessioN till 4 am i reacHed hoMe.. hahas.. was tirEd.. den deaRdeaR left my house just now.. hais.. totaLLy outta the mood now.. don feel like eating.. n doin anytink.. hais..
soRry daDdy n gRaNdma.. i threw my tantrums on you all cos i quarrelled with hIm.. hais.. thanks for puttin it up with me.. suddenly i feel like crying when i listening to tOnG huA.. sound so real life.. haiis.. take care ppl.. i'm staRtiNg new wOrk tmr.. a new life.. and he'S not going to hoNgKonG tmr but on weD..tHuRs n fRi.. hais.. bad timing.. anewae.. miss all of ya.. taKe caRe..

..oUtta deRe..

2005-03-24T01:27:00.000-08:00

hmms.. heyas ppl.. i'm gLad to sae.. i'm outta of tt horrible place...tt torturing place tt's killing all my brain cells each dae.. haiis.. tot it was good..but in the end..truely.. nVr jUdGe a bOok bY iTs cOvEr..NEVER. erghss.. jus starting to miss KamAlJit.. n naNcY... n nOeLLe!!.. haiss.. she refused let me put her down todae..she jus kept sleeping in my arms.. she looked so cute.. i miss her so much.. haiis.. i had a horrible encounter yest..nvm..don wanna talk abt it anemore..jus feeling so damn tired.. haiis.. tmr most prob going out with Yi n fIoN.. hope caroL..fI n others are getting along fine.. miss you gerls too... time to meet up soon yars?.. before caroL cant move abt too much.. *hahahas*.. hmmms.. i dono wad to sae.. nothing much to tok about.. i jus suddenly felt so full of words but still cant get anetink out..anewae..jus hope and praying hard tt the new centre would be betta.. tt's all i pray for to happen...Life's sOoo terrible..cos i miss my sch frens...miss my cartel frens... haiis.. realli miss all dose i've left dem... =S.. haiis.. hope life's been well for dem.. and yeaa.. i'm happie...gaO xiNg yOu zHe wO dE tA.. happy to have my him.. my wanG zI.. i love him. realli do... jus hanging out with yI..sEan..fIoN..tA.. iS enuf for me.. fulfilling enuf to spend my nitEs.. n thaNkiew wO dE tA.. we've been able to tok tinks out alot more den before recently.. u let me learn alot.. n thanks for bearing with my bad temper esp when i'm havin bad moods.. i jus simply love all the tinks u gave up for me.. jus simpy love the attention and care u showered on me.. and a real biG thankiEw.. miss u so too.. =)..
kk ppl..take care.. niTes..

aS tiReD...

2005-03-20T13:51:00.000-08:00

okae... yest went out wif fiOn and yI.. went to gEt muMmiE's pressiie... hoPe sHe liked it.. =Pp... well...den we weNt tO muMmie's BBQ.. sat n toked.. n ate.. hahas.. hmmmms... den we gotta go.. and i have to pass by mArK's n yU xIanG's BBQ to pass dem the pressiies too... okaE... u MaRcH babies are sucking my mOneY!!!... like vAmpiRe suCkiNg bLooD!... i'M brOke oKae.. wHeN mY moNth aRRiVeS.. i expeCt dOUBLE. okae.. u ppl knocked my pay out~~... i haVe 9 fReNs wHon got b'dAe iN maRcH... n mind yOu... it's juS e 20th oF maRcH oni!!!!!... *wTH?!!*... hahahs... iT's okaE.. i wan it douBLe bacK.. =Pp Hmms... n JuNe is anOther money sucking montH.. hahas... feeling so sick nOw.. having bad coLd i guess.. oh yah... n yest nite aft the BBQ stops... we 3 gerls took cabbie down to meet the 2 guys dEarDeaR n sEaN... n caught the movie.. "sOn oF tHe maSK"... it was so funnY!!.. and it's animations were good i guess... n a lil touching at the end... hahas.. deN we wenT to 230... gOt car den went driving to dono where... anyhow drive n drive until we all got hungry n stopped at a coffee shop to eaT.. n we 3 gerLs gotta eat yI's cRaved food... KwAy cHuP!~~... muahahahs.. but it's realli too filling for me.. den we went home n i reached hm at 4.30am... hahas... i'm feeling sooo tirEd.. 2 daes of late sleeping... makes my eye bags n darks rings worse... *sObbSss*.. n lTr gOing dOwn to caRteL to work.. siians.. yES!!... aShlYnnE helped me solved my school proB... love her sooooooo much!!! i pray dere's place... plss plssss.... haiis.. kk ppl..i gotta go... miss all of u n pls take care of yrselves... *hUUGGSSsssSs*

yAwNzZzz

2005-03-19T13:14:00.000-08:00

heyas ppl... i am sooo tirEd... went tO wOrk yest...n i fOund out loTs of tinkS... have decided to quIt... =)... disCussed iT wiF mY muM le... and she supported me... well...great... now..i'm gonna have to tok to my school... hais... =S.. lotsa troubles and problems.. hais... at least i knew it early... well... enuf of tt rubbish... and noe wad..i lost $50 yest... stupid...wad a freakingly suay dae i had... haiss.. nvm...den spent the nite with dEaRdEaR... i took half dae off den met fiOn up in the noon to go shopping for yI's pressie... =Pp... hmmmmss... den met up with the gRp... went for dinner... n bla bla bla... and ton at his cousin's house... till todae 7 plus... i woke him up cos i wanted to come home and sleep... =)... tears flowed down when i was with him alone yest... i realised sth... he loves me alot... and gave up alot... and now i understand.. as long as we quarrel one time... his heart breaks one time.. so do mine... but.. his emotional feelings... are worse than mine... yest did i realli understand how much he gave in and up for me n tis relationship... as i cried.. i told myself... i'll nvr make him upset again... i realised how impt.. he means... to me... over the daes we quarrelled... he nvr had a proper dae.. from now on..i promise... to gif u back all tt u've given to me... the love.. the sacrifice... the happiness... but nvr the unhappiness.. i wan us to go on forever... and have a relationship tt no one can understand except us... a bond tt no one can break except ourselves... and the love tt no one can replace each other.. =D..
i'm glad i found you..

i'M sOrrY dEaRdeAr... n I lOvE yOu..

iN prOgReSs.....

2005-03-17T08:18:00.000-08:00

heyas ppl... well... been busy for the past few daes... wif my work... yest i gotta plan the daily schedules for the tOddLErS..N1s..N2s..K1s...and K2s... can u believe it?... i sat down there n tot till my brain 's bursting... and when i got up..i got headache.. real bad one..till now..i'm still having it..yest was oso the last dae of the FiRst aId course... was a little sad.. but i scored not bad!!...hahas...saTisFieD.. and i staed in sch till arnd 7 den go off... went to cOmpass pOinT..and yes!!.. i got my pAy!!..hahahas... but oni a littLe.. hmmms... bOugHt a bLouse i've been eyeing for... and helped MaRdY to buy her pouch le... den off i went to eLvi'S houSe!!!... yea.. thougH dere were oni like.. 6 ppL...-.-""..but we enjoyed alot... laughed like crazie.. enjoyed our BbQ... and thanks to Fi..eLvi..JaCkiE..n feLyNn.. for helping to bbQ all the food...and got dem ready for me n jOleNe to eat when we got dere... =D.. love u gerLs lots... n i'm gonna miss u all.. ='( okae... and noe wad.. we got another new teacher named JanE.. her baby's oni 3 months old...called DiOr... she's so damn cute oso... and she'll be a real pretty gerl i believe... noe why?...she got double eye lids... sweet smile... and bIg biG eyes!!! hahas... i oso miss cAtHerIne'S 6 moNths oLd babY~... she oso very cute.. reSponsiVe to musiC i must sae.. aLert too... =Pp... heR naMe iS mErRiLyN.. nice rite?... means 'HappY pOnD'... hees.. realli gLad to handle these babies... cos they are jus so lovely..let me forget my troubles... =).. kkaes... guess i'll update more when daes pass by... take caRe ppL... love ya lOts..

bOn vOyaGe JaCKiE!! -gonna miss u lots n lotS...- *hUggIieSssss*

-'..sOmEtiNkS aRe nVr mEanT tO bE saId oUt..yOu wuN nOe hOw i fEeL.. siMpLy cOs u aIn'T mE..'-

lalala~... uPdaTiNg....

2005-03-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

okaee... sorrie for not updating for some time... well... cos we went to chalet... on fRi me.. mUmmIe..FiOn..went to get FiOn's lap-top.. in da end we oni got her choice over at FuNaN at haRvEy nOrman.. hmms.. a good catch i mus sae.. hahas.. den went to meet yI at TP to get mUmmIe's and fiOn's tinks... dan we took cab from TP to fiOn's hse..put our tinks..go centRaL eat...dan took cab t0 TM for our movie..we encountered some farnie guys... okae..don tok abt dem... den we went to watch "tHe bOogIemaN"...not bad norhs... quite scary..hahas.. den yI gotta go hm... mE..mUmmIe n fiOn decided to go to chalet and 'scAre' the guys dere... hahas.. n gave dem a LiL surprise bahs... den mummIe not feeling well..went hm.. leFt me n FiOn..heess.. den saT i went her hsE collected my tinks and decided to go hm...wiF dEaRdeAr accompanying me.. aft tt i bathed put my tinks and went to TM to get fiOn's pressie.. hahas.. could see tt she was rather shocked at our pressie..hahahs.. glaD she liked it.. hmmms.. dan yI n mUmmIe came over in the evening.. and had lots of fun...but i fell siCk.. was having very serious gastritics.. hais.. still beared wid it and went hm next early morning..den had to go to wOrk.. sians... but not too bad..got a vouCheR frm jOhnsOn....hahas.. his LasT daE.. n supposed to be mine too... but i agreed to help him next week.. last dae... on the sUndaY.. soo..yahs... den i wun be seeing MaRdY.. i said take care to her last nite aft work..hugged her..and.. tears weLLed up in my eyes.. cant bear all of dem.. haiis...
coming to todae.. had a great dae.. it's my first dae of work at my new workplace... haf lots of laughs too.. we had out fiRst aiD course.. hahas.. the instructor was funny too... n the funniest part was the part where we did 'practicum' the 'models' made me so scared...so ugly de..hahas.. they all laughed at my reaction when i saw the 'models'..*tMd*..hahas..n the scariest is the baby model..*omG*..but still learnt alot..CPR and bla bla bla....=) all ppl dere a lil craziie like me!!!... laugh oso like me~..hahahas... found all my mates.. happie arhs... =Pp.. n noe wad..i carried nOeL.. the lil gerl..she's oni 2 months old u noe!!.. n u talk to her..she smile and laugh to u... sOoooOoooo cutE!!!!!... she so tiny... and she likes to play wid her tongue n saliva..hahahs.. will upload the photo wen i haf da time... =Pp.. like her soo much... *hees*.. okae okae.. time to stop rattling on and on...hahahas..jus getting excited..tmr's another dae of fIrSt aiD course.. looking forward to it and nOeL!!hees.. so happie... may god bless everyone... he's coming over ltR.. see ya all soon..n i miss Fi.. cArOl.. LucY..sUsIe.. and everyone..haiis... hope to meet up sooN!! miss ya all!~

W.T.H?!!!!

2005-03-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

okae.. WTF.. is all dese... i'm trying to be concerned... yet i get told off once and again.. NB.. i oreadi said tt i wasn't finding tinks to quarrel!!!.. all i wanted to do was to remind u to sleep early...u wanna sae me sae until like that..fine.go ahead.. fark it u understand.. enjoy yOurSelF at the chalet... i'm not going... for waD?!why should i go dere and make myself n YOU so pissed... for getting accused by YoU.. hate it .. i jus hate it~..
L.E.A.V.E M.E A.L.O.N.E.

!`~haIsSs...~`!

2005-03-11T01:32:00.000-08:00

well.. did notink much todae..went to wHiTe sAnDs aNd tAmpiNeS wiF fiOn tO look for lap-top... hees.. saw quite some..den we went to CS to eat lunch.. aft that we went to shOp!!... fiOn bought one MaNgO bLouse...and i saw one too..but stupidly..i forGot to bring money... tmD!!.. nvm..i'm going back tmr to buy it den meet fIoN..mUmMiE n yI..hees...we going to catch midnite movie.. den i n mUmMiE going to ton at fIoN's house...lalalal~... rather happie todae.. clearEd tinks up wif dEaRdEar.. he told me lots of tinks tt made me realli touched.. hais..but jus now..sth cropped up again..anewae.. if u happen to see tis i jus wanna tell you... wad i said to you earlier on was for yr own good.. you should noe wad i mean... i dowan u to spoil yr health by staeing up so late into the nite.. jus hope u'll understand.. i've done wad i can..but if u still insist.. den..i've got notink more to comment abt... haiis.nites ppL...

* "sOrrIe"..n i'M sHaGgEd...*

2005-03-09T20:45:00.000-08:00

haiis... sorrie.. guess it din help at all... sorrie..

ok anewae..i went to ParAdiSe cHildcaRe jus now in the noon... hmms.. lost my wae while taking the stupid LRT!!!.. nB.. took one round back to sEnGkaNg.. wad's tis man.. ok anewae...aft tt i finally reach the childcare.. met caTheRiNe and wEiwEi half wae.. hahas.. den we walked back tog.. den i signed the agreement and look arnd..n caTheRinE brought me go take a look at my cLassrOom!!!..hey.. it's my oWn cLaSs okIe!!... n i haF the biGgEst onE hees...n oh yah.. i've changed to taking the nUrseRys.. cute ones.. hees....yea... and i'm now going to start preparing my cLassroOm... lalalal~... so happie wors... okok...den i realised there's a playground cum garden at the 6th floor of our block~... so nice man!!,. jus like tt place..simply wanna move dere...hahas...manage to see caTheRinE's daUgHter, eMiLy!!... she's soooo adOrabLE!!...and she talks alot.. a smart kid.. =) n while going back home..at LRT station i met JoyCe... =P.. okae.. as the story goes along.. i took the rite LRT tis time since i've learnt my mistake... but while taking bus home..tmD!!!!! i took the wrong side bus again~!!!.. NNB... >:| okae..sorrie for using such words... but i'm just so fed up...n tired...but at least i managed to shop for a while at cOmpAsS pOint.. hmms..been a long time since i've been dere.. and i got myseLf one bag n a hP pouch cos i lost my hP poucH... =S... n both are in white..hehes.. and i saw one pair of OP white flip flops i wanna buy... n OP skirt n shorTs... n 3 tops at 77tH sTreEt.. tmD.. so many tinks to buy...still got more i saw at other places... i'm gonna be broKe if i'm gonna buy all tt.. =S... hmms... nvm..i'll saVE~..n till i get my fiRsT paY from my FuLL time JOB!!!....lalalala~so happie... okok... gonna stop here.. i feel very full..though i ate oni 1 packet of HeLLo paNdA..1 bottle of iCed pEaCh tEa..n 1/4 paCkEt oF meE rUbUs.. i feel so bLoaTed.. whyee huh?...hmms.. *wonders*

one quEstiOn fOr me to pOndEr uPoN....

::-* naN daO nI yoNg yUaN bU nEnG wEi wO fU cHu nI suOP cEnG wEi tA fU cHu dE nA mE duO mA?..*-::

maybe bahs.. hais.. wadever.. aint in good mood now.. sorrie dA dOu..n sEaN..

~!pUtTiN tInKs tO a sToP!!!~

2005-03-09T02:37:00.000-08:00

haYaS ppL!!.. baCk tO bLog again!!..lalala~.. hmmmsss... okok... firstly..i wanna sae.. yes.. things haf come to a stOp!!.. yes.. i'll not sae anetink abt 'DEM' anemore.. and.. provided they keep their traps shut too.. okok..enuf of tt.. its time i grew up in that area too... and definately..i've grown more matured in thinking.. =) ... if everyone could take a step back and talk nicely...world would be at peace... everyone would haf more frens too yar?..well... n sometinks are realli betta left unspoken..*heess*.. okok.. on mOn..i went to take CDR in the noon... and den went shopping with WeN!!.. hees.. bought a lil stuffs.. and one for mUmMiE n fIoN too.. jus found dem cute... hees..i bought one whole BIG packet of maRsHmaLLoWs!!..wahahahs.. den met fiOn at her hSe... while waiting for dEaRdEaR.. n i called his hP..he din pick up...calling his hse aft tt.. and his dAddY picked up..at first i tot it was his bRo.. his dad sorta recognised me i guess.. he toked to me like someone in the family... and he even asked me if i wanted him to wake DeaRdEar up for he's still sleeping.. hahas.. nice daddY.. =X.. well.. slacked at fIoN's hse.. and till 11 i went home.. aS for toDae.. i went to meet dEaRdeAr in the noon too.. =D den watched the VCD i rented.. and den slacked at his house.. and noe wad.. his dAddY seldom cook de.. den todae he cooKeD.. n i was deRE to eat dinner.. he asked me to stae for dinner..hees.. n when we sat down to eat tog... his daddY said to dEaRdeAr.."weiLooN..y u gong gong sit dere de.. dono how to take the food for yr GF isit?."..*muahahahs*.. i jus found the word gong gong he said realli funny n happie to noe..he's oreadi recognised me as dEaRdeaR's GF.!!plus..he even said tt we shud pay attention to the show'cHeN weN faN cai xIaNg' cos next time we have to cook when we get married..*uneXpEcTeD*..hahahas.. noe i'm acting abit too crazie.. but i'm sure.. his mummY would accept me too.. *pRaYiNg haRd*.. hahas.. n noe wad..i was asked to go take the SW shift at nite todae..in the end i din go.. told dem i was busy.. n tt was how i ended up having dinner at his hse.. hahas.. faTeD bahss.. =Pp.. okok... enuf of my rubbishy talk..hehes.. meeTing deArdEar tmr again.. at his sch.. most prob...i'm going down to the paRaDiSe chiLdcaRe tmr.. to sign the tink... =).. n realli... i'm looking forward to working there.. a real nice place..n everyone dere has seen me as part of their biG family le.. am gLad wif the life i'm having now.. dEarDeaR.. faMiLy... fRenS.. lots n lots more.. everytink i haf in life now..i sincerely tHaNk gOd for blessing me with the special ppl and tinks i haf in life.. =)
tHankiEw gOd..

n tO tHaT spEciaL eU:

i aM haPpiE wiF yOu..tRueLy i'M haPpiE..n i nOe we'LL sTaE tHiS wAe.. i pRomIsE.. =D

-= oNe nEeD nOt bE riCh oR hAf lOts oF frEns tO bE haPpiE.. bEiNg haPpIe iS beInG sAtIsfIeD wiF eVeRyTiNk u hAf iN LiFe.. =-

!`-cOntiNuAtIoN oF cHaNtIn..hahahs..-`!

2005-03-07T05:30:00.000-08:00

heYaS...5.10am in dA moRniNg..stiLL not aSLeep yet..hees.. jus now went to supper at geYLanG wif jOhNsOn..lAo pA..wEN..pErT..n gEnE.. =Pp.. fuN outIng.. n wE sAe 'LA'..hahahs..n beT peRt n gEnE leArNt aLot..muahahs.. okok.. nothiNk muCh aBt woRk..juS sO sO buSyyy.. N tiRiNg.. bUt i din key in aNy wrOng oRDER!!..hahahs..*PrOuD of myseLf* hmms.. i began chanting jus now again...in frenster..hahas..aft tt i went to read.. felt so sAtiSfiEd.. practically was shooting the YOUS heads off!!..muahahs.. sorrie... noe i shdn't be so bad.. but who cares.. cos u all did it to us first.. n pls.. i tink u'll nvr get enuf of yselVes!!..hahahas... =X.. *sorrie..er hums*

okok... i shall start 2nd chapt of chanting here.. well well.. i mus sae... a lil bit more.. jus a lil.. hmms.. to start wif the 1st one..i tink u r a B***H..deFinaTeLY!!.. hahas.. and oh yah... pls stop dirtying singapore men.. by changing dem like babies changing diapers...oMg.. tt's jus simply so darn disgusting okae.. but i tink even babies waste..smells betta den U?.. =X..hahas.. okok.. shall cont again if u piss ane of us off again.. i'll nvr let u off..
n 2nd one.. stop tinking that u are so seXy or pReTty cos u aint!!.. omG.. if u are..i tink..the sky will drop... hahahs.. stop screaming at ppl..when u don look aNY better..at least if u tink u do look pRETTY.. get 90% of singaporeans to agree wif u befoRe spitting at ppl..tinking u are so damn HOT.. when u aint at ALL.. *erghs..puiss!!!*
n 3rD one.. u aRe a niCe oNe.. jus tt maybe..sth got into u..and yah..polluted u..but i aint going to help u... cos u do tinks to make me feel that u are jus a ********* gerl..trying to get attention and pity frm all ppl..making ppl tink tt its all her fault..making her feel guilty..n as for wad u did.. as long as i noe.. it's enuF.haas.. nothink will be betta for u too.. i'm sorry to sae tt...but u declared war first!.. shoo oFF~..
n 4tH one.. let me tell u deSe.. taLking bad tinks behind ppL's back aint any good..cos u'll get rEtrIbuTiON!!.. n nvr did u noe..she was going to tell me.. cos let me inform u.. ppl dere knew me longer den u do.. jus like wad wEn sae.. u mite be jealous or wadsoever..i don care.. all i no is.. u aint anybody to sae tinks abt me.. -S***eR-n oh yah..u r so goody goody 2 facED!!!
finished my chapt 2 n am going to slp now..nites ppl..miss ya all..

-hEhEs..-

2005-03-06T13:40:00.000-08:00

okie... i'm heRe tO bLog again.. hahahas.. had a fun time on fri.. oso yesT.. though all i did was to be in his house.. sitting dere.. watching tV while he played game n i talked to his bRo.. hahas.. n finally..i got to tok to his eLder brO.. or rather he finally opened his mouth n toked to me!!.. hahahas.. okae.. anewae.. i saw his eLder brO's photos.. the ones he went to be a moDeL.. omG.. the photots are damn handsome lor... when he smiles in the pics..showing his teeth.. he look realli cute lor..a lil like LiU dE hUa nehs..hahaa.. and when he smile a little without his teeth shown..he look realli suave and cooL~..hahahas... *sae until like i'm falling in love with him...* but heY!!.. i'm not in love with his elder bRo okae.. jus tt he looks a lil diff frm his real person.. and the persOn i loVe iS stiU hIM..n i don use my mouth to sAE oni..i pRoVe it to him.. unlike.. yeaaa.. ok anewae.. had great fun gossiping wif fIoN deSe few daes.. how i wisHed muMmiE was dere to join us.. ahahas.. i now realised tt i could actualli get along wif ppl n get back the same treatment tt i gave dem.. i've owaes tot tt they wldn't like me..but now i discovered tt we could actualli tok abt lotsa tinks under the sky..hehe.. n the doggie DeaRdEaR and fIoN told me abt is real cutE!!.. jus by hearing it n seeing the piCs fIoN took.. it's proven that it's realli sweet n cute.. unlike.. yea.. hahhaahs.. n the doggies name is MAGiC!!.. hehes.. even the name sounds so nice.. =Pp.. hmms.. okae nth much to sae le..cos sumtimes.. sometinks are betta left unsaid.. hahahas.. even if i sae it out i don tink u all noe it.. it's 'oUr' secret...hahahahs..=P

n oh yah... to some of the weirdos out dere.. keep comments to yrself.. esp when.. u don even haf anytink to show off abt.. n oh yah.. stop rattling on and on abt how bad life is for u.... pls.. dere are thousand and millions of ppl who are worse off than u n they din even sae a tink abt it.. who r u to compare to dem..oh pls.. jus F . A. R. K O. F. F and tink abt others who r worse off than u.. u are oreadi considered very good!!.. and pls.. oso stop criticizing abt others when u urself aint ane betta man.. n i dono hu will the the next poor one for u to back stab.. poor tinks.. haas. bye.... this is the last time i'm wasting my braincells on u too.. hahahas//oh yea..n provided if u stop spitting at ppl.. cos it jus piss me off.. if u are freaking pretty den u shoot it off at ppl i got nth to comment abt..but the big prob is u have no ingredients.. n u stiu wanna shoot it at ppl abt how bad they look..oh pls..i tink e person with the worst face is prettier than u.. cos at leaSt .. theiR hEART is PRETTY. a thousand time prettier than YOUS...hahahahs...

=!!..hMmmSss... tOtSs..!!=

2005-03-05T03:35:00.000-08:00

well well.. backies.. frm the expedition to the maLtidA hOusE again!!.. n this time..we walked in..n i can tell u..tt house..is real big... n pretty.. can sae it's a big house i would hope to have.. or rather we would all love to haf it as our own.. it's jus so simply gorgeous.. anewae.. though its run-down u can stiu see the whole of the big big house.. we left after walking one round and den decided to go into the house one daE.. n not nitE.. hahas..while leaving we met one grp dere to go into the house.. =P.. fun outing.. with Yi this time..hahas.. hmms.. and noe wad.. i found out sth..
tO: da sPeCiaL hIm..
though me and DeaRdEar don meet every single dae.. or hang out every single nite.. and jus simple spend our fris and sats tog.. i realised..we've known each other alot.. we've grown to becum more understanding.. and i can sae.. he gave me a relationship that allows me to take but oso learn to gif as i take.. now i truely understand wad it means by true love.. true love is sth tt allows u to stand by each other n keep holding on no matter how big the storm is.. even if one dae u 2 jus got seperated.. fate would still bring u both back to each other.. thanks dEaRdEar.. u made me learnt tt in a successful relationship.. both mus gif in and even if the fault aint in u.. u still can put aside yr pride and sae "i'm sorry".. even though quarrels do break out.. i feel tt in some wae.. we were both pulled closer to each other den aft the quarrels.. and during quarrels.. u'll nvr gif up on me and throw me aside to figure tinks out myself.. tHanK yOu for guiding me thru all dese.. and being so understanding and forgiving.. esp when i throw tantrums.. u'll nvr throw it back at me but instead figure wad's wrong and tok to me abt it.. i used to admire loving couples.. how they can be so lovin.. and now..i noe.. all dese aint jus a pure relationship...it's all made out by effort and the love both parties put in.. n jus now.. i heard the words coming out of yr mouth n into my ear.. all i haf in my heart is "yeS.. i'll treasure u.. i'll walk down yr life wid u..no matter how long and how tiring it is goin to be.." n now..i can tell u... i'm definately more matured in handling my relationship.. cos thru dEarDeaR.. i learnt realli alot.. tHanKs for eVeRy sIngLe tiNk.. i aint boasting or trying to show it off.. all i wanna do in mY blog..is to sae out some special words meant for hiM.. for him to noe.. that our relationship is strong and will forever be that strong to overcome all 'weather' changes..be it storms.. snow.. etc...
wE aRe tO oVerCoMe iT.. wE sHaLL beLieVe iN iT.. aNd wE wiLL bE abLe tO dO iT..

HaPpY 3Rd mOnTh aNnIvErsArY!! LoVe u LoTtss... *MuaAaccKkkSss*

caN i. maY i?

2005-03-03T05:27:00.000-08:00

can i disappear again. can i jus vanish frm this world?.can i?. hais.
leave me alone.

dO. jus leave me alone. take it as..i'm gone..from this world.bye ppl. life jus sucks.

x.X bU yAo qIu tAi dUo...zHi xIaNg nI hAo haO aI wO..x.X

*yE xU..bU sHi nI gEi de bU gOu dUo..eR sHi wO yAo qIu lE tAi dUo..*

!`-uNkNoWn...-`!

2005-03-03T02:02:00.000-08:00

heyas... back frm work.. tired.. split shifts todae again.. maybe its e last few daes i'm working for cartel.. going to start new job..n a new life.. a new me...kOr sae.. i've been realli cheerful these few daes.. am glad to hear that at least... i noe..they r happie to see me smile..n laugh.. i told him..maybe its becos..i've learnt to nvr take tinks too hard.. and i've learnt to let go.. i've learnt to put certain tinks at a stop.. and i've learnt that laughter is still da bez of the bez medicine.. haiis.. n i promised.. some ppl.. i'll be strong and keep my smile on.. for dem.. i'll try.. most of my time are put into cartel.. n next would be at ParaDise chiLdcaRe ler.. maybe in that wae..i wun tink so much..cos i'll have no time to tink abt tinks..i'll jus take wadever that is coming my wae.. even if the word finished has come in.. who noes..hahas. hmms... congRaTs to yI..wanyiNg.. n dOse who haVe done weLL for Os.. take care ppl.. am tired.. wanna sleep.. nites. N oh yaR..

HaPpY b'DaE dEs!!...

*wO juE dE.. nI biAn Le.. nI zAi yE bU sHi coNg qIaN dE nI.. nI zAi yE bU dOnG dE zHe mE qU xUe zHe qIaN jiU.. nI zAi yE bU hUi xIaNg yAo qU zHeN xI wO.. yOu kE neNg zHe jIu sHi wO yInG dE dE..dUi bU qI.. sHi wO sHaNg hAi lE nI.. sHi wO mEi yoNg.. sHi wO dE cUo..*

maybe.. notink will ever go rite as long as u tok wid me.. maybe.. its time to surrender and sae "its okae..i gif up"..

."..tIrEd...".

2005-03-01T02:56:00.000-08:00

well... back frm work jus now.. n i'm realli very tired.. yeS.. VisuaL aRts is doNe!!.. thanks NaNnY for helping me to print it out.. love ya lotss.. hahas.. anewae.. todae is a tiring dae.. cos din sleep well past few daes.. hmms.. tonite.. i shall have back my beauty sleep.. ahahas.. den meeting naNny at cIty haLL at 5 plus tmr.. go my school hand up the viSuaL aRts and go work together.. actualli...i didn't want to work tmr.. cos my finger hurts.. i cant take up heavy tinks wif my left hand..hmm.. but guess it'll be okae aft some time?.. and happily, i've found replacement for me tmr.. but.. Johnson sae he need me to train a new comer.. *penGs*..i agreed.. cos..i told him if 3 ppl i not so stressed.. but he said tt he wants me to change into cashier in case my hand cant take it..but i told him its okae..cos 3 ppl can manage it i tink.. no woRriEs.. =D and yes naNnY..don nag me go see doc.. it'll be alrite.. and pls don scare me wif ur ankle story okae.. *humppt* hahas.. n i stupidly agreed to go see doc if i cant take it n if u pay..and u happily can sae u pay for me.. -.-".. silly.. hahahs.. its okae..it'll be alrite i can move my finger means nothink's wrong.. =)..
hmms.. i notice that sometimes ppl who are rich or wadsoever tinks that they are very great... stupid.. and let me wait dere so long.. pissed.. u noe wad.. aSh's rite.. we shudn't even change for u all cos u all were the ones at fault.. =Pp and to some ppl who tink that if certain tinks ar oreadi in yr hands and u need not treasure anymore.. pls use yr penguin head and tink.. if u don treasure it..don regret in the future.. cos..u deserve it den.. =X *humpphht* okok enuf of my chanting.. tata ppl.. *yAwNs*.. am tired... gotta sleep... niTes.. n oh yah.. cArOl..Fi.. and ppl.. bBq oN dA 16tH oF maRcH if i'm not wrong..pls be dere for a little gathering..miss all of u lotss..-organised by eLvi..-

HapPiE b'DaE mArdY!!!!

`=sLeePy=`

2005-02-28T17:17:00.000-08:00

hmms..sleepy..jus now com cock up again..stoopid.. haiis. anewae..coNgRaTs to my bRo!!.. he scored very well..to me lar.. 3As..2Bs n 1C.. L1R4 is 14 and L1R5 is 17.. good lor.. haiis.. to tink of mine..oMG... horrible.. BIG difference.. going to work le.. miss you ppl.. n to some ppl outta dere.. u all suCkS.. hate u all deeply.. stupid ppl.. *PUIS*

ErGhs..

2005-02-28T05:02:00.000-08:00

okae..finally..my VA typing work is doNe~.. i'm left wif 4 last pieces that i gotta finish by tmr.. which i tink i'll make a mess out of it.. wadever.. freak it man.. okae.. naNnY accompanied me.. or isit i accompanied him?...aiya..all da same.. we talked on the phone since 1am... till now it's like 4 plus going to 5am.. omG.. boh of us doing proJs..hahas.. and he said that he's dropping hair.. hahas.. so maybe.. i'll see him baLd at work tmr.. cos he's too too stressed.. and both of us are dying soon.. hahas.. lack of sLeeP.. oh maN.. my eye bags getting deeper.. n i'm havin some rashes.. idiotic.. i pRaY i can hand up my work by tmr.. if not.. i'll realli dIe.. haiis.. jus now suddenly feel realli stressful of working suddenly.. cos of the decision to leave or not to.jus cant bear with all the ppl dere.. LaO pA.. WeN..eM..naNnY..GiN..cAriE.. aLisOn.. eLaiNe..sHa.. JuLianNe.. HeRmAn.. LoNg.. iVaN.. bLA bLA bLA!!.. i jus cant bear to leave dem.. haiis.. tt place has lots of memories.. for me.. i stiu rem when i worked dere the first few weeks alone.. stressful.. and not noeing wad to do.. *n yEs naNnY u jus said CB*.. okae.. anywae.. hais.. memories.. shall remain.. hmms.. but i noe the new working place would be as good.. jus cant bear wif caRteL.. hais.. touGh dEciSioN i must sae..
naNnY's pulling his hair out...wahahas.. n he said that he got hope of slping at 5am..-.-"" and he's biting ice..aDdiCtEd i mus sae..hahas.. stupiD!!..i waN somE too!!..>.< hais.. kk lahs...guess loggin off.. my back's aching..
and damn some ppl.. f**K u all..nB.. no sense of own style..everytink wanna follow.. shiT yOU! u aSSeS!.. i haTe u all.. i noe i shudn't sae HATE.. but i realli dO!.. n i'll tell u tHe tRuTh.. u aLL aiN'T pReTTy oR hOT!.. SHOO oFF maN..aSseS. *eRgHss* PISSED. n oh yah.. my bloggie..my style of writing tinks out.. ppl who aint happie.. sHoo DeN~.. sTupiD.LaMos. >.< *NO NAMES MENTIONED HERE!!!!!!!!!* if u tink u r the one.. i've got absolutely nothink to sae.. den u oni haf yrself to blame to tink so much. *PuiSs*

-\\ cLoSe tO pErFeCtioN..bLeSsEd..hAppIe.. //-

2005-02-27T12:30:00.000-08:00

oh yea.. the wind's still blowing..feel like sleeping..muahahs.. anewae..jus came in to blog.. that i aM sooo haPpiE wid the life i haf now.. feel so bLeSsEd... wif good true frens.. no backstabbin.. no stupid actions behind u.. and wif my famiLy.. and dEaRdEaR.. my life is near to perfection.. it ain't pErFecT.. but near to it..for no one's life or person would be completely PERfEcT..yea?.. n thrU dA dOu i learnt alot.. the way of foRgiViNg and foRgeTtIn is one BIG tink i learnt.. and thru dEaRdEaR i realli learnt how to manage my feelings and stuffs properly.. i learnt to be sTroNgEr and learnt that dere ain't anytink in the world u cant soLve.. coS.. u're owaes not alone.. dEre'rE ppL in yr life who have ben walking wif u all dese while..and giving u all the support u needed den.. it's time..u stop.. and tink.. who are the ones whom have done so much for u.. and lending u a helping hand or ear whenever u needed dem.. stop for a momant..tink.. and sae a prayer for dem... for such ppl.. they deserved to be blessed.. for they're the kind hearted and nice ppl who've guided u and open up yr blocked waes for u frm time to time.. and for wadever reason they've once stepped into yr life..made changes to it. pls..appreciate it... and not stab dem.. no naMes is mentioned.. no one i'm going against.. jus that sumtimes.. before we sae sth out of our mouth.. tink.. has this person ever HURT u beFoRe?..physiCaLLy n eMotioNaLLy.. iF nO.. keep comments to yrseLf.. and let bygones be bygones.. look into ppl's feelings before u shoot anytink out of that mouth of yRs.. if u cant feel how the person u're shooting at feels.. den jus keep yr big mouth shut and keep yr bloody comments to yrself.. i dono whyee i'm saying all this.. tink it's jus cos i saw sth... i dono whoever that msg is for.. i jus wan U to noe.. havin one more fren is better den havin one more enemy.. if u cant tink for others. pls.. keep yr bloody mouth.. SHUT. thankiew.

speciaL tHaNks to da dOu.. MuMmiE.. yI.. dEaRdEaR.. jIe.. cHeW.. eM.. WeN..fI.. rEncE.. LoNg.. n otHers iF i'Ve misSed u oUt.. tHanks to u all cos.. frm u all.. i've sEeN tRuE fRenShip.. u all made mE lEaRnT tHaT oNcE a fReNsHiP iS bondEd.. notiNk couLd breaK iT eAsiLy iF u aLL tReasurE iT.. tHouGh i'M stiU noT tHaT cLos to sOme oF u.. but i pRomiSe.. i'LL nvR foRgeT tHaT u'Ve aLL oNcE sTePpEd iNtO mY liFe.. anD bRouGht rEmaRkaBlE cHanGeS tO mY LiFe.. maKiNg iT cLosE tO pErFecTioN.. tHaNkSs.

~-/ eXcuRsiOnS!!hahas.. \-~

2005-02-27T11:18:00.000-08:00

TmD!!!... the long entry i typed halfwae is gone!!..cos of this stupid cOm~.. idioTic!!.. errgghhhsss.. okae anywae.. i'll type it again.. -.-""
as i was saying Fri and SaT.. we went on eXcuRsionS.. made me "da kAi yAn jiE"... on fri.. i went out at 11 plus in da nite... da dOu.. sEaN..dEaRdEar.. ShAi.. KeLviN..Wei QiaNg came over my house and picK me up..muahahhs.. *dUa pAi*.. hhahahas... aft tt they went to eat and den we proceeded on to PuNgGoL beAch.. da waters dere are very calm and nice.. suitable for couples to be dere in the nite wif little ppl.. very romantic.. hahas.. den dA dOu took out her digital cam and took pics non stop.. hahas.. had lotsa fun.. on the wae out... we met this uncle ho asked us very fiercely "where are u from?!!" scared us.. in the end.. he told us the story abt this " haunted" house at puNggOl.. aft listening..sEan drove us around.. and we saw the MatiLdA's HouSe..*that's the "haUnted house" the guy told us abt earlier on*.. it's realli a beautiful house.. and realli biG.. for more info on the house.. can go to look at da dOu'S muLtiplY.. aft tt they drove to cHanGi and we realli "DA kai Yan jiE" liaos.. ahahs.. we saw the "girLs" and some even made actions when we drove past dem...tink it's for kELviN and ShaI de.. hahas.. den we were laughing non stop man.. aft tt we got out of the car and walked around.. and we apotted this "girl" who did not wear anytink but a jacket and shorts.. omg *sEe nO eViL*.. hahas.. had lotsa laughs.. aft tt we rested at the coffeeshop nearby and went home cos everyone was tired le..
yeSt.. dEaRdEaR came over my house and aft that we went to whiTe sAnDs to meet uP wif dA dOu.. sEaN..caLisTa and Wei qIanG.. we went to PS for a movie.. but unfortunately.. dere's no more tickets for six in a row.. all scattered seats... so we decided to go tiOng bahrU for the movie.. and the cinema we went into as rather empty..hahas.. we watched the show 'wHiTe nOisE~' the show is rather complicated.. like hiDe and sEeK.. hahas.. den aft tt we went to meet sEan'S and deaRdEaR's laz time working frens at buGiS..da dOu helped me to make up.. and she did wonders..hahahas.. realli brought out a different me..hahahas.. den we met dem n i felt a little left out.. as da dOu.. sEaN and dEaRdEaR noe dem..and i cant seem to tok alot wid dem.. hahas.. haiis.. someink den overwhelmed me.. leaving me a confusion state of mind.. tink oni hE noes wad's the reason.. anewae.. it's ok... at least for now.. hmmms... anewae... we den went for dinner when caLisTa and wEi qiAng came.. aft tt we went back to pR.. i went to da dOu house while dEaRdEaR went to sEan house to do his proJ..yI sWeeThEaRt came over to meet us at da dOu house and we chatted and filled her up wif the trip on fri.. hahas.... aft tt at 11 plus to 12am.. we set out... when i saw DeaRdEar.. his face was realli unhappie... cos he cant find anytink for his prOj.. seeing him in that state i dono wad to do except to comfort and talk wif him..haiis..but we still went out anewae.. we went to foRt cAnniNg paRk.. and walk walk.. hahas.. den me and dEaRdeAr had a priv talk ... and i noticed that..we've both matured.. =)and its realli the time whereby we can realli tok tinks out slowly wif each other..no arguments and stuffs.. hmms... anywae.. aft tt trip..on the wae in the car.. *tis is a tink i must NOT miss out..*.. da dOu took a pic.. and we both like see sth eerie.. so i sae faster go inside da car and *boom* she closed the door and.. *aHHHH*. i screamed.. no..it wasn't cos i was scared.. its cos.. her door got mY hAND!!.. hahahs.. i kept quiet for some time b4 saying my hang got 'kiap' by her door.. ='(.. hahas.. wanted to cry oso cant cry out..den yI so fierce.. she was like "moVe yR finGerS.. i sAe moVe.. MOVE"..hahahs..n i did.. at least still can move although it's realli hurtful..hahas.. but hey da dOu.. no woRriEs maN!!.. betta now le lah.. i noT jI cHoU de okaE!.. hahas.. =Xcontinuing my story.. aft tt foRt cAnniNg paRk tRip.. we went to GeYLanG to da kai yan jie..hahahahs.. tis time.. it's mE..dA dOu.. anD yI walked tog.. and the guys in another grp.. i was cursing all the guys who looked at us.. stupid i mus sae.. as if any gerls to walk along gEyLanG mus be boboke.. tmD.. feel like diggin out their eyes.. hahas.. had lots of laughs and fun too.. =P.. nice outing this 2 daes.. hees.. well..going for work ltr.. and the wind's so strong now.. it mite rain.. maybE.. hahas.. but it's a nice feeling to haf that win blow into yr face.. hahas.. okae ppl.. will update again.. misS ya all loTs.. eSp ECE gerls.. n i'm looking forwaRd to dA dOu's.. Yi's anD muMmiE's b'DaE!!.. =Pp
EaRlY haPpiE b'DaE fiRst!!.. *MuuAAaCCCKkkkSsss*

.-yEa!!!! -.

2005-02-25T14:24:00.000-08:00

heyaS!!.. i'm backie... from the interview at the childcare centre.. i am very very happie.. =P.. i am hiRED!!!..hahahahs... yea!!.. the principal oni asked me a few questions..den she shook hands wid me and said "weLcomE aBOarD!!"...wahahahs.. laughing my head off.. so excited.. so happie... new group of ppl to mix wid.. new friends.. and a new life.. cos.. i'm working fuLL tiMe as a dream i owaes had!! realli happie...but life for me would be rather hard next week... i gotta plan the activities for the children liao... i'm taking the K1s.. not bad...a group that's not too young and not too hard to manage.. and noe wad...that childcare centre is an infant care centre too... and one baby was there todae... n it's soooooo cute.. oni abt 2-3 months... hees.. next time can get to play and work wid children and babies!!.. oh man... look at me... jus getting so excited abt everytink.. hahas... musn't be too happie..i gotta do my VisUaL aRtS and cReaTiVe tHiNkiNg poEm later..hand in by MoN and my portfolio.. oh man... still got lots to do... nvm... wow... i see a sparkling future ahead of me..hahas..hmmm... but to tink abt it again...the childcare centre is in sEnGkaNg not far frm me... but it's not convenient cos there ain't any straight buses.. tink it's becos there aint many ppl living in the HDBs yet.. cos it's in the inside inside of SenGkaNg.. guess there'll be more transport as more ppl move in over the years.. or months.. but it's okae.. cos there's LRT..so everytime i go to work..i can take the LRT!!..hahahas.. *sIaO* okae.. mus be more mutured.. gonna step out into the working world le.. though there aint much pay...but its okae.. as long as it's wad i wanna do.. i'll be happie =) all the ppl dere i can get along realli well wid..they are all friendly and cheerful.. *aLL sMiLeS!* hmms.. kk...enuf of my jOb.. tmR's saT.. going out wid DeaRdEaR.. sEaN aNd dA dOu.. =P.. waTcHiN moViE.. heEs.. n going meet dono hu... ppl i dono but dey noe.. -.-"".. for some reason..don feel like going.. hE shud noe..hahas.. kk ppl... gotta start on my remainin projs.. and rest for a few daes... plan the curriculum for the children and i'm off to work!!.. hahas.. tata ppl... i am missing everyone in class oreadi.. aLvI..JoLenE..Fi..JaCkIe..CaRoL..feLyNn..cHiZ..LucY..aNd suSiE.. n aLL thE chiNa friEnDs.. theY nvR miss me out of their fun.. love dem lots.. am missing u all oreadi though it was jus yesterdae we parted.. *hais*.. LovE yOu aLL lOtS.. !!! *MmmUuuuAaaCccKKkkkSssss*
n oh yea.. fI..cOngRaTs.. hahahas.. u shud noe wad.. am happie for u... too bad i aint dere for u to grab when u got to speak wid him.. =P.. see ya again soon yea.. free mus come out kaes.. same to caRoL and all of yA outta deRe!! cArOl..*i wanna be da god ma..=P*

-\~LaZ dAe N nEw haIr~/-

2005-02-24T20:41:00.000-08:00

hmmms... back frm city hall.. rebonded my hair!!.. hahahs my straight hair's back!!.. muhahahs.. no need spend time go manage..sians..den the hairdresser told me to go take part the Miss AIT contest.. now den i noe cos they in charge of the hairstyle n making up i guess... hahas.. today's last dae of school... managed to see SusiE todae.. soo long nvr see her..missing her like siao... hmmms... n todae..i parted wid all my classmates... feeling very sad.. wanna cry..can i?.. hais.. will miss u all de... *sObS*.. *hUGGsSSss*... mus keep in touch wor!!.. kk la... nth much to tok todae.. will update again soon.. tata~

iN sChoOl //-

2005-02-23T10:45:00.000-08:00

heyas!!.. in school now..hahahas.. fI's beside me.. hahas.. typing dono wad oso.. todae's the second last dae of school... feeling bU sHe dE ... hmmms... going to work at SW later at 5.30pm..hmms.. so tired... but it's okae..todae working wid eLaiNe and Sha.. hahas... yest me and eLaiNe had a realli good time.. talking and playing...and she became my zA bOr too.. =P.. hmmms.... den worked wif heRmAn and JuLianNe.. so nice of dem... and i'm leaving caRteL sooN.. as soon as i find a full time childcare teacher job... haiis... jus 1 or 2 weeks more... hais... not willing to leave cartel too.. maybe i'll go work during sAts and sUnS... =D.. hmmms.... nothin much le bahs... saT going to watch movie wif him again.. guess wif dA dOu and Jie fU (sEaN).. hahahs... seya all den.. and tink i'm having back my straight hair le.. yeaa.. hahas.. easier to manage i guess... hmmms.. kk ppl... will update again soon yars... tata... and miss all of ya... and tHaNkS to nAnNy... for waking me up every single dae i have school... *HuuGGggSsss*

*\\-sHaNg dE yUe sHeN.. yUe mInG baI aI yaO fAnG dE kAi... *haiis* -//*

hEyhEy~

2005-02-21T19:42:00.000-08:00

hees... hmmm... aft sch..i proceeded to wHiTe SanDs.. and on the wae i 'dOnATeD'?.. $10.. to one dono wad tink..they had license..for the teens who's parents are in jail de....so i jus gave it lor.. for one caLcuLaToR.. -.-" hahas.. its okae.. den i went to buy sth for me and dEaRdEaR.. and.. i went to libRary.. borrowed books.. and went to popular...wanted to buy tinks..in da end i din buy anytink..hahas.. wadevar.. den while i was at coUrTs.. i den realised JoaN was standing beside me...cos both of us were looking at the digital cams.. =P * yOu yUaN fEn*.. hahas... den we walked and talked.. hmmms.. on the wae home.. met wEe yanG and hiS gF.. pEi sHaN..hees.. and they wore qiNg lU zHuaNg again..hahas.. white.. like me =X.. hahas.. kk..tiRed... cos i got back all my assignments and had to carry dem back frm city hall..till home.. realli vry very tired.. hahas.. later going to do VisUaL aRts assignment.. =D..take care ppl.. see ya all.. =)

haPpiE for caRoL.. =D *hEes*.. gerL.. eVerYtiNk will bE sMooTh saiLinG anD a biG biG suCceSs!!..
anD haPpiE foR fI.. cOs u goT yR WISH came tRuE!!!!.. hahahas.. aren't u happie?... beT u'LL dReaM oF mO toniTe.. reM.tmR weaR niCer.. laTer hE senD u fLowErS!!!.. hahas.. =P
*sorrie..jus crapping.. guess oni ppl from my class noe bahs..hees.. *

hErE i aM!!! =P

2005-02-21T08:03:00.000-08:00

well well... hi ppL.. here i am again!!..heees.. ya ya... yea nAnnY.. i'm soRrY..din update my blog okae.. yea yea.. *runs off*.. hees.. naNnY is owaes nagging at meee... cos i nvr update my blog for the past few daes..hahass.. hmmms.. it's 7.47 am..todae is the dae to be back at schooL!!!.. yeAaa...exCiTeD ehhs..hahhas.. well.. let me update a lil abt wad i've done over the past few daes..

on fRi -18tH oF fEb-
i actually went out wid nU eR..jIe...mUmMiE.. dAddIe.. mInG Li.. anD maRianNe... hmmms.. we went to shop at oRcHaRd.. but deY went home at 8 pLuS.. leaviNg mE n nU eR.. cos we 2 had decided to spend loTs on that dae... and by 8pm.. we haven got the tinks we wanted..so...we continued shopping..nU eR and i mananged to catch the 'pReViEw' of the ChinGaY parade.. and half wae walking.. i saw kInGstoN as one of the working crew..hahahs.. and happily..he asked whether i wanted the masks and tinks.. -.-".. hahas..thanks anewae.. den that particular dae.. bought.. 2 bLouSeS.. 1 skIrT.. 2 eArRiNgS.. tink tt's all.. din realli buy much too..tiMe cOnsTraiNt.. and nU eR bought 1 blouse.. and 1 pair of shoes..hees.. satiSfiEd.. and den.. da doU called nU eR..and bla bla bla.......... *no nid to noe le...*

oN sAt -19tH of fEb-
okae... i and dEaRdEaR sorta talked it out.. i apologised to him.. cos.. i was realli coNfuSed.. haiis...he said it was over.. everytink is alrite le.. was happie.. =).. we had a great time on saT.. dEaRdEaR and I went for a movie to see "hIdE aNd sEeK".. and he's a guy who seldom watches movies.. realli glad that he watched it wid me..not a bad show.. rather scary..but storyline.. a little laMe.. hahas.. well..afT tt we went over to da dOu house.. and met up wif the same ppl plus more ppl.. and the whole house was like a big big gambling den.. hahas.. 2 tables were joined.. hoRribLe guyss.. hahas.. was glad to see mUmmIe.. dA dOu.. yI..caLiStA!!..pEi sHaN..and glad to noe fIonA.. =D.. we gErLs had a great time too =P *oni we noe i guess..*

oN sUn -20tH of feB-
hmms..working dae.. but went to dEaRdEaR house at 12.. accompanied him... till around 3 plus.. den he started his game tinky..cos his fren called him.. hahas.. its okae.. =) and i went to his room...talked to his younger bro..its a mIracLE.. we are able to communicate well.. and he toks to me nicely..that's great.. =D.. hahas.. taught him a MatHs qn.. hmms.. not too bad..at least i din forget my pRi maThS.. hahas.. den at 5 plus i proceeded on to work.. till yest 11 plus i went home..hahas.. yesT.. some ppl deserved it... wEn and mE jus refused to help.. hahas..who tell tt gerL to be so arrogant and pRouD.. toopiak..
hmms..n now..it's time for me to go to sch... =P see you ppl... anewae..wanna sae tHankS to dA dOu.. u realli helped me alot.. thanks for letting me see thru tinks.. tHanks deaRdeAr for being so understanding.. and becos of this incident.. we realli got cLoser alot alot.. thanks MiN for all the advices and gerL's taLks.. and to naNnY for being so concerned.. thankS.. oH yah.. and tHankIew laO pA.. cos he got me my JaCk jAcK pillow!!.. =P.. tata ppl.. thAnks to everyone who played a part in my lifE.. =) realli appreciated it..

"::" hAiSs.. "::*

2005-02-17T15:42:00.000-08:00

hmms.. slacking now..nth to do.. tinking of sth. shud i gif up. i refused to sms him..when he did smsed me.. i refused to reply.. and he jus called me n i refused to answer.. am i silly?.. haiis.. aft he had decided to sms or call me.. i decide to not care abt his doings. i dono.feel so confused. i diverted all my calls to the other card n i off the other phone..haiis..i realli dono. listening to music.. esp ta hai shi bu dong.. and yan hong hong.. haiis. tears wanna flow again..maybe i shud jus go to work earlier. and take my whole mind off tis. stupid.but i noe i'm bound to start tinking on the long journey on bus 12.laMo. haiis.. ..wanna go bathe n off to work.. though its realli early when i'm working oni at 7pm. hais.. tata~

!`"-tiNkS wLd bE fiNe..-"`!

2005-02-17T01:54:00.000-08:00

haas.. back from orchard.. jus reached home n bathed out not long ago.. went out wid MaRdY.. we went to watch the movie "i dO i dO.."hees.. i wanted to watch it and she realli accompanied me..hees.. felt so happie.. the show was damn funnie.. making me laugh like hell.. and noe wad...i din fork out ane money..cos tt silly maRdY jus paid everytink and stared back at me and said "NO" when i wanted to pay her back.. sweet lil tink ain't she.. hees.. was happy.. but aint happie now.. hais.. dono.. lots of tinks wen thru my mind.. controlled my tears for twice. hais..STUPIDITY.
fri going to shop..cos the bloody pay din come todae but is coming on fri.. idiotic i hope dey dun delay it again.. hmms.. saw lots of tinks i wanna buy..earrings.. bikinis.. and clothes.. and flip flops..haas.. guess i'll spend a BOMB.. good.. going to collect his Vdae's presiie too.. hais.. aft the movie we sat at the Mc CaFe.. oh man.. the scenery there was relaxing plus the nice songs and oMG everytink was jus so romantic and perfect in the nite.. hahas. hais.. hope one dae i'll be dere wid my loved one. =) kk.guess i'll be loggin off.. tmr working.. nites ppl.. miss yew all.. and yeS!!! next mon.. is the start of school again~.. wahahahs.. cant wait for tt dae to come!!.. =D and thanks kOr anD NaNnY(rEnCe) again.. for keeping me company while on that scary wae home.. and thanks naNnY for being so concerned. and i hope everyone in the world would be happie.. and look forward to their lives.. and thanks a million mU mInG.. may u be blessed.. cos.. u are a realli sweet guy.. for trying to make everyone's life a more beautiful place to be in.. thanks..

sometimes..somtinks tt happen aint wad we wished for.. but everytink happens for a reason like i once said b4.. in life.. nth is smooth sailing.. but i guess we'll all mature in tinking and learn more as we grow older in life.. and this applies to everyone i guess.. and in this world.. there are much more unfortunate ppl den all of us.. ppl born disabled.. children n babies wid autism .. or even other illnesses.. god spared us from dose but not dem.. be satisfied wif wad we haf in life.. no matter how good or bad it is now or may be in the future.. feel blessed.. that at least even ONE single person cares for u.. never blame god for giving u the life u haf now.. becos.. everyone has omost the same unhappiness or happiness.. its jus the timing thay happen to you and others.. nvr compare.. becos.. it'll nvr end.. and in the end.. u'll realise.. nth is betta than the life u have now..

somEtiMes ppL juS doNo tHe LogIc and imPoRtAnCe oF tReAsuRiNg sOmeoNe untiL dEy LosE hIm/hEr.. aNd tiLL dEn.. eVeRyTiNk hAd bEcuM uSeLeSs..

!`=fEeLiN uSeLesS.=`!

2005-02-16T03:23:00.000-08:00

haas. guessed wad. opened my 2nd drawer again and tot of wad i told him yest nite. saw the whole drawer full of medicine. popped 2 down and i feel damn useless. freakingly useless bum. he mite be happier widout me. widout a burden like me. i don even haf the ability to take care of him. wad rites do i haf to be wif him. i feel so dumb.so sick.so useless. a good for nth. i'm aint worth anytink. he deserve someone betta.some gerl who can look after him when he's ill and not him owaes looking after her. i don deserve him. i sucks. yea. life sucks. owaes. i hate myself. to the max.
maybe, leaving him is the best and the rite choice. maybe. life would be betta widout a stupid big burden like me. and maybe. he shudn't care anymore. not anymore.

MaNy nItEs i'Ve cRiEd fRoM tHe tHiNgS yOu dO..
feLt liKe I cOuLd dIe fRoM tHe tOt oF LosInG yOu..

i'M nOt suPpoSed tO loVe yOu..
I'm nOt suPpoSeD tO cArE..
i'M nOt suPpoSed tO LiVe mY LiFe..
wIsHiNg yOu wERe dERe..
i'M nOt suPpoSeD tO wOndEr..
weRe yOu aRe oR wAd yOu dO..
i'M soRrY i cAn'T heLp mySeLf..
cOs i'M sO iN LoVe wiF yOu..

=a LittLe toTs..=

2005-02-16T01:23:00.000-08:00

hmms..well.. went to work jus now...quite slack..not alot of customers.. y 11 pm i closed finish my counter..hahas.. hmms.. worked wid laO pA and eLaiNe in counter..kept laughing non stop..and eLainE went off at 11pm sHaRp..hahas.. not bad lahs.. by 12 am we finished closing the whole cartel..not too bad nahs..hahas.. hmmms.. yea..that's abt it..nothink much happened.. oni one customer..weird.. drank the lime juice sae it's very sweet..in the end i and LaO pA squeezed abt one and a half lemon den the customer drank le.. looked at me..and gave me a thumbs up..hahas.. he said "good one.. very nice.. " - -"".. hahas.. k lahs.. nites ppl...

=aFteR 6 dAEs..=

2005-02-14T19:40:00.000-08:00

heLOS ppL!!!!!!!... aFt 6 dAes.. finaLLy.. i'm BACK!!!.. to update..hahas.. well well.. neW yEar was rather fun..hahas.. okae.. let me brief it..hahahas.. ....

on da first dae -9th FeB-

went to my mummy's side de uncle's house...met wid all cousins and aunts and uncles..they saw me and all said one sentence...."wahh..shao nu shi ba bian"..meanin young gerl change at 18 yrs la..sth lidat..hahas.. weird.. i don tink i changed at all.. hmms.. oni hairstyle la.. dono.. okae..aft tt we went to my daddy's fren's house.. the little gerl's house whom i used to tuition for.. hahas.. den went home..and my daddy' frens came over.. wid their 2 sons..n 1 of dem is my kOr lor!!.. hahas.. but i couln't stae for long..cos went out to the movies..wid eM..jOhNsoN..anD rEnCe.. watched sEouL raIdErs.. not a bad show though..hahas.. den..there goes my dae........>

oN the second dae -10th FeB-

<hmms..as for tis dae..went to my daddy's side de aunt's house...cousins dere were either married of attached..nothink to tok abt..they old le.. well..except for the gambling part..wahahahs.. den aft tt we left arnd 7pm..my parents went out... cos i was going out wid jIe..cHeW..and vAn.. they played pool..i watch... i gave up and went home to slp..hhahas.. cos on fRi nite.. i was working... sandWicH.....>

on the third dae -11th FeB-

sHoP.. and watch movie..hahahs.. old couple..hahas.. den..i worked SaNdwiCh..but..it turned out tt they did not haf enuf runners.. so.. jIe was transferred out to be ruNnEr..leaving mE and LaO pA taking care of everytink in counter... i cLosEd 2 counters SW and CasHiEr till 1.30am den went home..bathed and arnd 3 plus went into the room and gambLed wif my neighbour they all..wahahss.. until 4.30 am i went to slp...and the next dae i had to cover the morning shift cos someone cant make it.. >

on the fourth dae -12th FeB-

dEaRdEaR at fiOn's house.. wow.. i saW sEaN..fIoN..MuMmiE.. wEi Yi..wEe YaNg n gF..keLviN.. wEi QianG and Wei kIaT joined in oni after we went to central to haf our dinner... and we gambled and gambled till... 2 plus den weI kiAt drove us back wid fIon's daddy's car.. and dEarDeaR they all continued gambling till 6am.. cos i woke up at 5.30... i gotta cover comeone's shift again..hahas.. dEaRdEar sae i very silly.. everytime sae ok.. >.< ..humpphT..>

on the fifth dae -13th FeB-

dEarDeAr's call...cos they still gambLing frm yesT.. and went to work till cLosing.. imagine it..from opEniNg to cLosInG.. i omost DieD okae.. cos both shifts as runner.. omost killed myself.. but i did abit of casHiEr anD dishwasher in between..hahas.. suPeRwoMan..hahas.. okae..am realli tired... so i reached home...bathed and aft a while i lied on my bed and fell asleep immediately..>

and as for todae.. it's V'dAe.. n a came online alot of ppl ask me why i din go out wid DeaRdEaR.. simple reason... he's studying till 5 pm...and i slept till 4pm.. and i ain't feeling well at all... hahas... so...don ask anymore... anywae..to me.. i tink tt as long as we are happy together... everydae is a vaLenTinE dae for us.. hees.. he feels tt wae too.. i'm sure..as long as our hearts are tog and wid one another..there's nothing to worry abt yar.. hees.. okae...gonna log off.. realli feel like the whole world's spinning and my back and legs are aching... siians.. weD most prob meeting him till den we'll den celebrate VdaE norhs.. few daes ltr aint anytink too..hees.. summore sAt spent time tog oso wad..ahahs..take care ppl...must go rest le.. anewae..thanks to kOr and naNnY for concern yest.. and all the care from carteL ppl... thanks.. =D

HaRpIe VaLeNtiNeS daE!!!...

-tO LoOn-...foR aLL da tiMes wE waLk besiDe eAcH otHa.. U neVeR faiLeD tO giF iN tO mE.. aNd gIf me aLL dA tiNks anD aTtEnTiOn i wAnTeD..u piCkEd mE uP whEneVa i faLL.. aNd maKe mE sTroNgEr aS eAcH dAe pAsS.. aM gLaD i fouNd U.. aM gLad i haF U.. tiLL wAdeVaR dO uS aPaRt.. i'LL LoVe U.. oWaEs..

!-..`bLeSseD n HaRpiE`..-!

2005-02-08T18:26:00.000-08:00

hmmms... todae.. bought one new shorts...2 nail polish... 2 shoes..wahahahas... den... deardear jus left my house...hees... can u believe it... my parents actually allowed both of us to be in my room..aLoNe... and behind closed doors.. feel so happie.. they trusted us.. =D.. and i can see and know... they've long accepted him bahs.. since the first time i was wid him.. hees.. *gRiNniNgs*...
he was at my hse oreadi..cos i had no idea he wld be so fast to come my hse...and when he reached..i was jus on my wae home.. -.-"..hahas..he slacked at my hse..n yes.. he's the ceRtiFiEd piG.. a LaZy one..definately..hahas.. cos he fell asleep..in my room.. doTs.. den i was playing com..but aft tt i kept moving in and out of my room..disturbed him..wahahs.. but he woke up and accompanied me.. talk talk.. hmms..no cousins tis yr..except shuQiNg jiejie and her bF.. cos sHuYi jiejie still in gErmAnY.. den da rest went to eat outside.. sians.. hais.. but like wad he said.. it's okae..cos at least..i got him to accompany me at least..hees.. feel so bLeSseD.. and realli happie.. saT going over his house.. kkaes...gotta go help prepare.. HaRpiE nEw yEaR ppl... and take care woRs.. love ya all.. *muacKs*.. hmms..going to the movies wid JoHnSoN n eM tmR.. =D

`!-eRgHss-!`

2005-02-07T12:51:00.000-08:00

tooopppiidd... yesterdae woke up..wif a swollen rite upper eye lid.. wad e hell.. den it was so painful tt i couldn't even move my toopid eye lid.. had to go all da wae to bedok's doc.. den still went to work.. luckily..the painkillers helped to reduce the pain..hais... so suay can... anywae.. thank CaRoL.. for telling me the doc's place..to save my eye..hahas.. *hUuGggSss*.. looking forward to 21st of fEb to seeing all ECE ppl again..love u babes.. =P n Fi..going holidae..nvr bring me along..can u squeeze me into yr luggage plsss?..hahahs.. hmmms.. yest wEn help me scold tt gerl.. hahas..thanks WeN... eye still swollen n yeS..tmr's neW yR eVe..muahahas.. can see hiM.. can see my cousins~... this yr at my hse..muahahs.. no need go out.. so good.. but mus haf tt swollen eyes.. *soBs*.. its okae..looking forward to tmr le!!.. =D.. *ang baos ang baos come to meeee...wahahahs...* =X

haPpiE nEw yEaR ppL... LoVe yA aLL... hoPe u aLL gEt LoTsA aNg baOs kaEs..

-`..a rEmiNdEr?..`-

2005-02-06T01:14:00.000-08:00

haiis...cried da whole nite yest... todae woke up wif small eyes..painful and swollen rite eye... hais.. guess..it's a reminder..asking me to be strong and hold on tite..and don cry le.. i guess it mite be so.. haiis.. i would i guess.. din go to the beach todae.. but it's okae..at least tinks were cleared.. and new year eve he comin my hse.. hees..=P.. lookin forward to it... soon.. take care..eyes real painful..he asked me to slp early.. kk..nites ppl..
thankS daRrEn anD naNnY... for yest.. for all da advices from DarrEn and the accompaniment from rEnCe.. thru the nite..talkin to me even though he's in school tired wif his cca tinks.. and thanks for bringing laughter back into my nite.. esp wif the ABC song we had..hahas..thanks guYs..

=..tHanKs..=

2005-02-04T17:28:00.000-08:00

well..talked wid tis guy on msn...din realli noe hu he is..but..i din sae much..jus said i was leaving.. n said byebye.. he said one tink..which left me letting the tears flow outta my heart.. he told me..
"must be happY ok..".. isit cos he could see me unhappie?..but i din talk much to him.. well.. i jus felt his 4 simple words..jus left me a deep impression.. =S haiis..thanks anewae..whoever u are.. i will be happie de.. i believe.. i will......

!-sOme mEaNiNgfUl dE woRdS..-!

2005-02-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

heyss.. hmmm.. went to work yest as SanDwiCh.. in da end..i ended up woRkiNg as caShiEr n SanDwiCh..tmd..luckily..aint alot of ppL.. got to ta pAu caKes.. *yum yum*.. heEs.. yeA.. tmR's dA dAe.. n tmR i can get to see my nU eR tOo!!!... missed her soooooooooooo much... grown prettier of cos.. =).. hmmms.. nothin much to sae todae.. don feel like talking alot.. err.. mite be meeting hiM later.. last time we met was last SaT.. haiis.. luckily..tmr we r meeting again.. i'm taking ALL my SaTs off.. all for hiM =D hees.. n for my gerls too.. looking forward to meeting my nU eR n oUr compAnY tmr.. n looking forward to the beAch tRip wif hiM.. tot of sth.. hope he'll like it.. miss hiM soo much too.. haiis..

some meaningful words.. for me though...

*- zHi yaO xiAnG xiNg..yOnG li hU xI..jIu yI diNg hUi yoU qI jI.. -*

!`-aI qiNg sHi qUaN li..bU sHi zHaN yoU.. bU yoNg sHuO duI bU qI..yiNg wEi nA sHi nI dE quAn Li.. -`!

~=* aS lOnG as wE beLieVe.. tHeRe'll wiLL oWaEs bE hOpE.. n oUr dReaMs wiLL coMe tRuE.. *=~

!`- eVeRytInK wiLL bE aLriTe.. cOs i beLieVe.. aLL we neEd iS tiMe..-`!

::-`bU yaO yiNg wEi yI cI dE sHi bAi jIu fanG qI sUo yoU xI wAnG..`-::

"-* wO hUi jIaN qiAnG..hUi yoNg gAn..wO hUi taI qI toU wAnG qiAn kAn..bU hUi kU.. wO xiAnG xiNg..yiNg wEi yoU nI.. wO hUi biAn dE gEn yOnG gAn..*-"

`-=|| mIsS yA gErL.. ||=-`

2005-02-02T23:53:00.000-08:00

well..met up wid JoaN sWeeTie jus now... hmmms..went to BugIs.. walk walk...talk talk... it's been some time since i realli relaxed and sit down for sth to drink and talk thruout..i must sae..being with her makes me real relaxed and free of troubles..we kept laughing.. we know more each other's probs le.. jus wanna yOu geRL to noe.. i'M owaes here okae... =).. i still prefer JoAn sWeEtIe smiling.. her's is sunshine smile... u see her smile.. u'll see the light.. =D.. really glad we did met up.. though u are still rather unhappie..but i'm sure u will be alrite.. n don tink so much le wors... love u gerL.. *muAaCccKkkSsss..* rem..nEw yR go yr hsE take anG baO wors..hahahs...
den aft tt sWeEtie accompanied me to walk to OnE FuLLertOn the restaurant dere.. went to meet up wif my parents and fRens..hmmm...go dere have dinner... nice.. and fuLL... hahas.. rather tired... but later i'm gonna continue my VCDs again... hahas... take care ppl... fI..tink properly yea.. and gimme the reply.. miss u gerL...
take care ppl.. miss all of you... hope to see u all soon... =P
well..maybe.. we don have to spend everytink together.. it's okae.. i tink..its all names.. and doesn't feel real at all.. i feel so.... lOst.. a small little kid in a big big shopping mall.. haiis..

`\=* nAn dAo wO mEn jIu jIaNg yOnG yUaN zHe yAnG... bU li hUi bI cI maH?... haiis.. *=/`

-`/..tHaNkiEw..\`-

2005-02-01T22:35:00.000-08:00

thanKs aH miN cuM 2nD kOr.... foR dA bLuE roSe anD wHiTe roSes.. mY fAvS..

*hUuuGggSssss*

tHaNkiEw.. foR eVeRytInk..rEaLLi touChEd.. =) *tEaRs roLLiN*..tHanKs..

=-!boRiNnGggg..!-=

2005-02-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

hi ppL.. slept at 5 in the morning..hahas.. hmms.. watching VCDs... i watched Cinderella Story again.. and i feel so weird.. suddenly.. i tot of sth... memories..i've never forgot.. and will never let go of.. suddenly.. i just miss the feeling... of havin someone by me when it rains..thunders and haf lightnings.. i miss someone dere to comfort me... and tell me not to cry.. i miss the past... and truthfully speaking... the past him.. iF..i din let go in the past.. would everytink still be the same as the past?.. would he still remain as the past him?.. i don't know...and never will i guess.. haiis.. feel so sad..hmmms.. it's okae... hope everytink will be alrite... i tink it will... meeting JoaN tmr i guess... hmms..missed her soo much.. worked wif sHa..laO pA..shuaNg.. ZaC and mArC n jIn yest..hahas.. well.. laO pA's better i guess... at least he makes jokes again... and made me laugh like hell... hmms.. n he kept helping me to take retribution coS someone did sth..den laO pA not happie she bully me..muahahahs.. thanKs laO pA.. loVe u mosT..hahahs.. hmmm.. laO pA noE my results..say very good wors... he goin to gimme reward!!... yeEaaaa... =P so are my mUmMy and DaddY.. though i din do as well as others.. i'm still satisfied.. =) aS long as no need retake can le..lyk waD fI said too..hees.. happie for them aLL too!!.. =).. k las...smile ppl.. miss u all..

To Fi: coNtAcT mE aSaP...thanks..sTh iMpT.. miss yew babE.. =D

*-/`aI nI jIu xIaNg sHi zAi dEnG dAi bU hUi dAO lAi De qI dAi...yOu sHi wAnG yOu jUe wAnG..`\-*

~!=::aI yI gE rEn hAo nAn... ::=!~

||-`tIrEd...yAwNs..`-||

2005-01-31T11:20:00.000-08:00

arlloosss...yest nite was tiring...at work... but was fun...kept laughing..but wEn n LaO pA ain't feeling too good... wasn't used to it... without laO pA's normal smile and jokes.. was kinda upset when i see him so sad too...haiis... wEn was upset too... after work..she cried until very jia lat..poor gerl... haiis.. haO xiNg tOnG to see dem so sad... chEeR uP kaes.. yest i used whipped cream to make the words "cheer up" for dem...and use choc sauce to draw a smiling face for them to see ..they smiled... esp laO pA.. haiis.. though wEn laughed and joked wid us at the starting of my work...but in the end she felt so upset..haiis... but..at least she cried out...hope Wen's feeLing betta yea... aS for laO pA...hope he would feel betta oso..haiis... n i hope laO ma still wid him...if not, i'll miss laO mA de..haiis.. well.. going to go to school later...results are out..i cant wait till aft cHineSe New yEaR to noe my results..hahas.. so..ltr i'll proceed on to school... send fI..LucY..cArOl...suSiE their results bahs... so at least they'll get to noe it too...hees.. den i'll proceed down to work... doing sW this whole week... hmmms... working with sHa..and laO pA n sHuAnG in counter..hees... hope laO pA back to his normal seLf..at least there'll be some laughter den.. dAv baBe not working this week... guess...not anymore..haiis.. miss her oreadi.. and eM!!!.... go outtttt... u arrrhh... busy gerl... hahas.. n mite be goin out with wEn tmr..go shopping..hope it'll make her feel better =) smile wor WeN~.. my ulcer is never healing... and now..a bad sore throat is here... wTf?!!..okie.. i tink i wanna go back to sleep...slept at 4 plus in the morning.. hahas.. anewae..take care ppl..will update again.. =)

`-hApPinEsS iS iN tHe AiR!!-`

2005-01-30T02:20:00.000-08:00

hahas...someone's beside me now..heees.. anewae... jus a short entry... hmmms.. woke up at 9 plus todae...din oversleep...muahahas.. so..got up..prepared..did housework..and off i go to dEaRdEaR's hse~.. stayed there till arnd 4 plus n guess wad..we started to pluck each other's white hair...- -"..hahahs...i helped him find 2 of it...n he plucked it out...but... he plucked 6 of mine out okae!!...toopiak...oLd liaOs..hahas..nooo...is too stressful lyk wad he sae..hahahs....den went over to jiE's house ltr on..to meet up wid her n cHeW... hees.. they played playstation 2.. and left me aLoNe.. tmd..den..i fell asleep... on cHeW's laP..till tiNg called...n we prepared and met up wid her.. after that we went off to Marina South to eat sTeAmbOaT!!...hahahas... had lots of laughs wid them... been a long time since i met up wid them le.. esp cHeW n tiNg... =).. hao kAi xiN woRrss... thanks ppL..for the great dae.. n next week... there'll be another date if i'm not wroNg.. =P.. take care ppl...am tirEd..gonna rest..tatas~...

hao xiang nian ni..todae finally got to see u...though u were tired... was glad that we still spent time together...=).. thanks for everytink u've given up for me... esp yr slp...and thanks for the warm hugss.. hees.. sleep early tonite yea...LoVe yOu.... =P

cHeW n jOaNnY..bE stRoNg yea... smiLes.. n everytink will be aLrite after some time..miss u all.. =)

[[ 6 mOrE dAeS n cOunTiNg sTiLL... =D ]]

oMg..sCaRed dA heLL oUtTa mE..

2005-01-29T01:44:00.000-08:00

omG..sth happened.. the keychain I and dEarDeaR had on out hPs..suddenly jus fell apart..when i took up my hp the whole tink jus fell apart.. i'm so worried...got so scared... was so afraid tt sometink mite happen to him...until i recieve his sms...haiis.. gOd.. pls protect him.. i'm so worried...suddenly...i felt so afraid to lose him... haiis...hope everytink will be fine.. deArdEar..pLs take care...don wana anytink to happen to u..*choY!!* =S... damn worried now.. it scared the hell outta me.. =( ..

love u darLin..

it's okie..he told me jus saying tt his broke 1 week ago n he FORGOT to tell me...it's alrite..guess wad really was goin wrong was the quarrel we had 3 daes ago?hahas.. *nUtS*..tatas..

!~-//hMmS..haPpiE sHuD i sAe?..\\-~!

2005-01-29T00:21:00.000-08:00

well well..haO haPpiE woRs... everytink's fine le i guess..errr..but maybe not realli back to the past... i give him lots of freedom...alot alot alot more den wad i gave him i tink...i don realli care wad he's doin or wad..don sms him le... =)..maybe..tt's the lifestyle he needs... =| it's okae.. i'll occupy my own time...but i noe he wanna it to be back to da past..he said it...but..well..trying.. see how tinks are goin yars.. hmmm..meeting him tmr.. maybe if his parents aren't at home.. i'll go over till evening time..den we'll stae out.. see how isit.. hmm..he's gone fIsHiNg..wif his poLy frens... hahas.. going till tmr morning... hmmms.. told him tt i dowan him to play games tmr.. jus a small request.. hahas.. but..he said i'm silly..cos he wans me to go over to accompany him n he'll not play ane games.. plus..yar..he needa catch some sleep..=D errr...guess tt's all.. =P

tO: JoAn..hey babe... don worries... be happie yars.. everytink will be alrite.. trust me.. n promise i'll be dere.. love yew gerl..take care~..reMember...bE sTroNg.. =)

haiis..siCks..

2005-01-28T16:23:00.000-08:00

*doRts* said to give him a chance if anytink was to happen btw me n him..but i told him it's impossible..noe i'm selfish..tt's wad *doRtS* said abt me.. but...i realli jus cant put him down.. but now.. i'm tinking..if all was to end..maybe..tinks wouldn't be so unhappie?..not anymore for him.. n maybe..i jus don deserve him yars.. been missin him like hell..but yet...cant do anytink..haiis..feeling damn freaking useless..haiis..

*doRts*..i'm sorry...know i'm selfish...but... forgive me..u noe.. i jus cant let him go.. soRrY.. haiis... well..woke up once at 9 plus jus now...was dreaming tt i have a real painful stomach.. n i woke up frm the dream..n i realise...my tummy was realli in great pain.. and i was perspiring all over.. cold sweat..hais.. ain't feeling too good.. gotta run to da toilet 2 times.. and went back n feel asleep huggin my bolster titely while bearing wif the pain.. how i wished..hE was wid me.. how i wished.. He was dere to cure and lessen the pain i'm having.. how i wisheD..hE'll tuck me in bed...hoW i WisHeD..but..nth's poSsibLe i guEss...hais...well...been toking to 2Nd koR since i'm onliNe..till noW.. haiis..thanks for accompanying me.. n thanks to eR zI too...well..tummy still feel weird.. din eat anytink..feel like throwing uP..haiis...sians...hate bEiNg siCk... feeLin sucks..hahas.. was tinking whether shud i still go for the swim later.. =S..hmmms.. dono la..maybe bahs... if not..staying at home will only let me tink more n more abt hiM.. haiis.. kk ppl...take cares... gonna write a letter to LiNg..n write in eM's book too.. =P..tatas..

HaPpiE b'Dae mIn.~.. love u gErL..

-//a dEdiCaTiOn To mY gErL..dA spEcIaL oNe tOdAe//-

2005-01-28T02:46:00.000-08:00

tO: da sWeEteSt N loVeLieSt pRinCeSs...*mInmiN*

HaPpiE bIrThDaE tO yOu..
hApPiE bIrThDaE tO yOu..
hApPiE biRtHdAe tO mInmIn..
hApPiE biRtHdAe tO yoU!!!!!!!!!

hEy baBe..guess yOu mite haf tot tt i've forgotten all aBt yOuR special dae.. hahas.. well.. pretended to call yOu yet din sae anytink abt yOuR b'Dae tO u..wahahas.. =P.. i noe dere's nth much i can do for yOu.. unlike for fI..cos..i seldom get to see yOu...e 3 mysterious smses yOu recieved just now are frm my good frens.. don worrie.. dey din keep yOuR number.. jus wanted YoU to haf happiness from all 3 of dem.. cos..they 3 are real happie ppl full of laughter and joy.. n somehow..i hoped they've passed their joy thru their blessings to yOu.. love yOu babE.. haVe a wonderfuL 18tH b'DaE.. n reM..bE sTroNg .. AnD haPpiE.. smile owAes.. =) n last but not least..maY aLL yOuR bEaUtIfUl dReAmS n wIsHeS cOmE tRuE...
love u lotts..
HAPPIE 18tH BIRTHDAE!!!!!...

`~=!oN dA rOaD oF hEaLiNg..!=~`

2005-01-28T02:28:00.000-08:00

well..back frm work..ate the panfried mac *doRts* cook...well.. he smsed me.. and asked me to gif my comments..hahahas.. anewae.. isn't it the same?..hahas.. i tot he forgot to cook for me.. cos he din bring it to me..in da end i found out he put in the rite hand upper locker...where he owaes place food for me.. haiis.. sumtimes..i feel tt he's really silly.. doing such tinks... he noe my situation..he noes who is in my heart..but yet..he don mind..haiis.. he packed one full box of panfried mac for me and even a sT louis poRk riBs.. haiis.. wheneva i see hw much effort n care he puts in for me.. i feel guilty. he shudn't be doin those.. yet he does it everytime.. hais.. he said he put his love into the tinks he cook for me.. thanks. i appreciate it..but u noe.. hu's realli in my heart.. thanks for everytink.. i noe.. u'll find someone betta den me de kaes.. =).. haiis.. been working wid LaO pA..aLiSoN.. dAv bAbE n shuAnG.. well..haf lots of laugh..i dono if i's true from my heart..or jus a fake tinky again..but guess its rather true..hahahs.. laO pA esp..keeps making me laugh wid his lame jokes again..ahahas.. n dAv baBe..she is so gong todae.. and keep making me laugh along wif her too... esp when i repeat her mistakes.. she will tickle me n make me laugh..while she's laughing like anytink herself..hahas.. it's been some time i've been really happie.. thanks ppl.. cheered up my dae.. haiis.. gonna miss u all if i quit one dae.. n DaV baBe too.. she mite be leaving soon... haiis.. din wait for me!!!... nottie gerL.. hahas.. realli fun to work todae.. din regret it.. haiis.. smsed n toked online wif 2nD koR..hees.. he's still as jovial and as happie as b4.. ahahs.. but.. he's still as quiet too...hahas.. becoming more like a pig though.. hahahs.. tmr's outing's cancelled i guess..hahas.. still finding ppl to go out..i heard sth on the radio jus now.. the person said "getting hurt is painful..but no matter how deep the hurt is..how painful it is..it will heal.. it will..no matter how long it takes..it will.."i believe in that too..it's okae..maybe..it's all my wrong.. =) anewae.. i'm feelin a little bad now.. but... i jus don feel like doin anytink.. i jus don wanna tink n make myself drop ane tears again.. haiis.. dono la.. hope..he will be happie.... forever..hhaas.. take care ppl... tatas..
oh man.. dAv bAbE...i'm gonna miss u.. n yr kiSs..hahahahs.. =P n wEn..thanks for hearing me out.. n thanks to mIn.. fI n ReNcE tOo.. okae..gotta go hear my gRaNdpA cum NaNnY nag liaos...
back frm his naggings..well...he's speaking reasonably plus lots of maybes though..thanks naNnY.. haiis.. well..yar.. dono lahs..hais.. hope everytink will be fine..nites ppl. take care.

*-!`= fOr yOuR lOvE.. i'LL giVe mY laSt bReAtH.. ='( =`!-*

~!!`-fOr yOu..-`!!~

2005-01-27T15:38:00.000-08:00

for u..the special u..dono wad happened..dono wad is happening..dono wad will happen..all i noe is " I lOvE yOu."..haiis..

=fRoM tIs mOmEnT=

(I do swear that I’ll aways be there. I’d give anything and everything and I will always care. through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better for worse, I will love you with every bit of my heart.)

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I’d give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can’t wait to live my life with you, can’t wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn’t give
From this moment on

You’re the reason I believe in love
And you’re the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

as long as i will..i will love u..haiis..take care ppl.. =)

!~-bRoKeN n sHaTtEreD-~!

2005-01-27T13:58:00.000-08:00

shattered into pieces .jus one sms. is enuf to break me up. i dono wad to do or sae. i tried to hold back my tears yet they jus fell. was feeling silly n thanks to those who accompanied me last nite..esp kOr n mIn..thanks. but i ain't gettin better.not cos of u all..but i jus recieved e sms this morning. broke the mended me up again. vulgarities were used.when i din use ane. i feel realli hurtful.pain. i dono wad to do. all i did last nite till now is cry. tears flow out like an open tap. couldn't stop at all. feelin so stupid. useless. foolish. haiis... okae.. kOr said i'm not allowed to use these words again if not he'll get angry.but i still tink so. haiis. sorrie koR..jus aint feeling too good. maybe scolding myself mite be better for me. hmmms...i dono wad to sae or do liaos.. all i wanted to do was to talk it out. n not quarrel. i din sae i don believe u..it's jus tt i wan u to noe how i realli felt. yet the reaction u gave me.. was sth i could nvr accept. haiis. gOd..gimme some strength. to stand up n not fall easily again. let me have the courage to face all this n stop my tears n pain. let me be happie n for my frens, i wanna be strong. they wan me to be strong, but yet i let dem down once n again by fallin over. i hate myself. my LaUgHin aNgeL cum GrAnDpA cum NannY wasn't wid me. din wanna him to worry. cos everytime i fall in front of him. haiis. sorrie rEnCe. jus din wanna disturb u. by the time u see tis, i am healed. don worry.. i'll be strong n stand up once again. i need to get on wif life. wif my frens. i'm tryin to avoid everytink and everyone.. xcept for my gerls. cos they'll kill me if i go missing.esp jiE n kOr. well..don worrie kaes..esp to kOr.i'll smile.i promise u.. =) to *dOts*..thanks for yr encouragement. u tried to gimme the strength to walk on n told me not to cry.despite wad i said to u, u still stood by me. u said u will owaes be by me no matter wad. thanks for yr everytink. but..i cant take so much yars. cos i din gif out ane. sorrie..know u r nice and caring for me. i understand u wan me to be happie. n u said tt e prince charming i shud have shudn't make me cry. reasonably, its rite. but, in life, there's owaes sths that's bound to make us cry. so it's okae. know u tink tt i'm silly but its okae..realli..and i promise u oso..i'll be fine. and i'll smile e next time i see u. thanks too.
everytink's been sort of happening in the dark. thanks mIn..kOr..jIe..fI..wEn N nAnNy to gimme some light and light up my way n life. realli glad to have u all in my life..owaes helping me up when i fall. and thanks to 2nD koR for owaes accompanyin me to talk online esp wid yr handwritten msg. =) they're cute. hmmms. thanks to everone who stepped into my life n guided my wae. thanks once again. love u all llooottttssssss.

-+sIanZaTiOn..+-

2005-01-26T15:51:00.000-08:00

well...walked to the bus stop..n walked back home aft 3 smses.. feeling lame. n stupid.. and a little of disappointment?..hahahas.. aiya..nvm la.. den i slackin at hm now...till around 5 plus i'll leave for work earlier.. at least down there...i haf ppl to tok to..lame wif...and laugh along with.. yars.. i'll be better.. at least loneliness will leave me alone for some time.. tonite reach home..bathe..n i'll slp~.. FiOn sae not enuf slp will grow fat n complexion not good... so i musT SLP~... hahahas.. fiOn..u oso mus slp yea.. and thanks for yr time.. =P... i am feeling like.. a little spinning abt arnd me.. =).. hahas.yeaaa...i saw liNg online..talked wid her..n got her addresS..hees.. so happIe!!.. so looonnnngggg nvr see her le...=D..miss u liNg!!..take care ppl.. miss yew all lloottsss... *hUgSssSsss*

tO U:..mayBe iT's tiMe..u pUt mE soMewHerE..

!`*-eVeRyTiNk wiLL bE aLrItE.. sOmEhOw..i gUeSs...-*`!

-::fOolIsH?..sTuPiD?..uSelEsS n tIrEd~::-

2005-01-25T23:56:00.000-08:00

ellos...well...tired~.. din sleep on sUn..went to sch on mon n den to work..aft tt met up wid wAn cHeW..wid jIe n jIe fU plUs yU xIaNg..=D.. well...din sleep on suN cos of that stupid M&M project..n yEst wEnT tO suPpEr wid dem till 3 plus in the morning.. wow.. n i woke up at 8 plus todae...when i fell asleep at 4 plus yest.. i aM realli realli tiRed..hahas.. todae went to curL my hair..well..4 ppl saw my pic n said it was nice..*dono isit true* n susie's comments were 'cute look like barbie doll'... doTS...haiis.. n went shopping wif mummie!!...walked chinatown..bought lotttsss of things.. hees.. happie though...
well..been thru alot of tinkings these few daes.. that makes me feel useless.. hais.. i tink i am.. mIn saes i'm not..but..i tink i aM..haiss.. i hate myself.. to the core. sometimes..i wonder where am i placed. n sometimes i wonder how much i realli mean?.. haiis.. these tots..running thru my head like replaying a tape.. haiis..all i can do now is to occupy myself wif lots of tinks.. work..n goin out.. wid frens.. n fRi.. i'm goin to wild wild wet i tink.. wid cHeW n jIe bahhs.. so excitEd~..hahas.. hmmms..well..sometimes..i tink.. loving someone who loves u more den u love him would be alot easier.. u wouldn't have to worry.. u wouldn't haf to be heart broken. u wouldn't have to tink so much.. i miss him. i miss my frens. there's still catchin up to do still though.. hmmms.. met sHuqInG jiejie todae at mrt station and i sa he doggies on her hP..so cuuttee!.. one called baby..n another called chou chou.. hahas.. one skinny..one fat..one white..one black.. doTs..opposite. anewae..cute ehs.. n i miss my cousins too..esp da one in gErmAnY now..haiis.. n yet she's not comin back for new yR..saD..well.. nothin much happen besides these..
haiis.. sometimes..god jus likes to make fun of u n ur life.. makes u go round and round..makes u go confused..makes u feel so uncertain of everytink. i dono wad to do.. sometimes..some ppl jus love u alot..yet u don love dem.. and sometimes..u love that person alot n yet tt person take u for granted..or don show tt he love u as much too..maybe.. its all part and parcel of love.. its all about taking and giving.. it jus depends on whether u wanna be the giving one..or u wan to be the taking one.. haiis.. n now..i dono where to stand. here.. or dere.. inside..or outside. i'm messed up. life jus sucks. haiis.. i dono wad to sae anymore.. feelin so loSt.. loSt like a kid in a big big shopping mall.. no one seems to noe me..no one is helping me.. n jus feel like crying.. it's jus a matter the wae its done. loudly?..or softly?..sometimes..some ppl jus love u so much n gif u so much yet u cant seem to take it frm him..sometink's seems to be holding u back..*dots* tell me sth jus now...i'm touched..yet confused..sad..and guilty..advised him but he told me to stop saying those..apologised but not allowed to do so..in da end..got scolded..haiis..sorry *dots*.. haiis..i'm uaable to take nor gif..sorrie for everytink...haiis.. miss my gerls so much.. n i miss BB.. i miss jOSeY..miss rU..haiis.. so looonnnggg tt i haven met dem le..=P.. esp BB.. n daVid~!!.. wonder hoe's he doing over therE..=D.. hmmms.. sat..mite be goin out wid eM..wEn...bla bla bla.. =P.. hmmms.. hope..i'll be happie..i tink n i hope n i pray i'll be fine..i'll be laughing.. n smiling on fRi.. don wanna worry jIe or cHeW.. don wanna grow dependent on dem.. esp on mIn n fI..
thanks eR zI n mIn..for toking to mE..n toking out wid me.. for advises and for tinkings.. for cheering up..and for yr accompany..n eR zI..thanks for yr *babY* ,yR "kiss"in msn *muahahas* n kEeping our secret yea?n thanks to RenCe..for wanting to hear me out n for yr siNgiNg..- -""...sorrie..noe being my laughing angel is hard..but.. at least u put in every single bit of yr effort i guess..thanks....hahas.. love u guys loottss.. *muaacckkss*

^-=* tHeSe wOuNdS cAn'T seeM tO hEaL...tIs pAiN iS jUs tOo rEaL..='( *=-^

----dots-----

2005-01-23T05:21:00.000-08:00

hiis..jus finish my lesson plan..the write up for my musical instrument has to wait till tmr.. hmmms.. gotta do the instrument first den will noe wad to write yars... anyway... i dono wad i did jus was rite or wrong... was tinking...jus do it...don wanna regret or wad in the future...mostly i wun...but still i dono why i did that..hahas.. silly.. haiis..kk..*yAwNs..* damn sleepy..okae..he's gonna scold me.. for sleepin at 5 plus.. =P..anewae..nites ppL...tmr still gotta work..miss u all n those in ece...see yew all on mon~..

[[13 mOrE dAeS n stiLL cOunTiN..]]

`++aLL sMiLeS =)++`

2005-01-23T03:33:00.000-08:00

well..as usual..went to bugis for awhile jus now..hahas...aft doin part of my Music and Movement de project...am feelin so bored.. anewae..met up wid jIe n her fRen at bugis...aft tt..we slacked and chatted at coffee bean...den went to take neoprints!!..hees.. quite sum time tt i havn been taking neoprints le..hahas.. aft tt..jIe fU called..den we still at bugis when jIe was supposed o meet him at tAm at 8.45pm...jiE fU was pissed indeed.. even aft we met him..well.. they quarrelled but laugh at same time..which was weird?.. - -""..cos i kept laughing.. diiaos..hahas.. well..don owaes quarrel ma u two...each person gif in abit norhs...=D.. den awhile aft tt..i was e one wid bad mood... in da end..they listened to me..hahas... buden..dono wad on earth happen again...they were both on bad terms again = =""...aft jiE fU told jIe sth..dorts. dono la..i myself in bad mood...din realli say anetinks.. hahas... den..we took bus 3..n i dropped off at pasir ris pri tt stop..n u all shud noe... i'm meeting hiM... kaes..den we went to sEaN house to slack as usual...watched tv..wid sEaN and sHai cHeOng.. hahas...had sum laughs... esp when sEaN tried to act funny..hahas.. anewae.. actualli i was feelin quite pissed wid hiM..but in da end...when i saw him..all my anger and sadness disappeared.. and.. i felt so comforted..jus to be lyin in dEardEaR's arms again.. i tink...i'm used..to his everytink.. his sMiLeS...hiS eYeS.. hIs fAcE... hIs voIcE.. hIs haiR.. hiS hUgS.. haiis.. jus one dae widout hiM...i'll feel rather lonely.. n lOsT sometimes.. maybe..i shud try to learn not to be so dependent on his everytink again..yar.. if not one dae..widout hIm...it's hard for me to survive..hahas..hmmms.. jIe n jIe fU..hope everytink's okae for u all le.. don get too agitated owaes okaes.. learn to gif and to take... tt's one real must in a successful and happy relationship..=) sMiLe kaes ppL.. i needa go continue on my project..n slp early..DeaRdeAr asked me to promise HiM tt i'll slp early..n i diD..sooo..i must...if not ltr he scold me...hahas.. see u all again.. and to mIn.. going out next week or wad kaes.. =P when we r free...same to eM too!!.. take care ppL.. n sMiLe~=D
*anewae..one stupid tink i did .. jus now wanted to pretend slap dEarDeaR de..in da end.. i slapped him hard..wid a *piAcK*..ohoh.. tt's painful..felt so guilty..but seriously..not done on purpose...!!!...=S.. jus accidentally..den i quickly sayang him n planted a kiss.. hE understood..that's enuf..hahas.. sorriE bAbY...love u lottss..n yeaa.. sEaN said todae..i'm not like my ownself...too nutTy..guess that's wad he said n meant..hahas...sorrie..=P*

-=`hMmMsSss`=-

2005-01-22T16:58:00.000-08:00

heyhey...din update yest..hahas...n reNcE asked me..hees...well...cos... tired..slept straight awae aft i bathed wen i came home frm work..tiring nite i shud sae.. lots of desserts to do.. lots of cashiering.. hmmms.. n yest was the first time i was RenCe got angry and not laughing.. so scArY.. haiis.. cos of *eRhUms*.. den wEn oso angry and scolded *erHuMs* off..haiis.. aiyo... den they still xiong me cos rEnCe sae i helped him..tMd..i din lor..~*slaps ReNcE*wahahs... hmmm... realli never seen rEnCe flare up..n tell someone off.. i lied on the bed last nite yet i cant fall asleep... rolling here and there..den i smsed jiE..n koR.. i felt very lost suddenly again. n hateD myself. n somehow do hate him. haiis. dono wad to sae..jus.. i'm loSt.. jus wanna hide awae..wid my tears.. haiis.. hao nan guo.. been rushing my stupid M&M project since jus now.. but no coloured papers to noe wad colour to go wid... soo..have to wait till i get back the tinks..n that will be tonite or tmr.. hmms..gotta rush..plus tmr still got work..its okae..big deal i don sleep lor..hahahs.. hmmm...wanna go out soon le..
reminder to my babes: pls be STRONG. love u all.. n rem..i'm owaes here.. noe i'm repeating. and i noe we are all troubled now...but pls take good care of yrselves.. don fall off easily.. hold on tite.. n smile~.. remember..no more tears. okae?.. miss yew aLL~.. =)
kkaes ppl..i gotta go... hee.. take care ppl....

^hHaAiiSs..^

2005-01-21T15:01:00.000-08:00

..hmmms..todae woke up at 9 plus...went to daddy n mummy's room...snuggled up in between them n slp..hahas..haven done tt for sooo long..but went back to my room aft a while..still prefer the room wif my own air n space n soft toys..hahas..den feel back to slp.........kaes..woke up at arnd 2...toked wid my fren..she still hasn't gotten over it.. she let her tears fall again.. wo hao nan guo..i don like to see my frens fallin down like tis.. don like the feeling... i wan dem to be happie... tt ain't too much to ask for yar?..haiiss.. god..pls help dem thru all these.. i noe its part of growing up.. noe it's part of life...but still..its too much for dem to take.. to handle all these.. i don wanna see them unhappie..cry...n wanting to end their lives or wad. to me.. they are precious.. n gerls.. if u all happen to see tis.. pls remember..i'm alwaes here.. to let u cry on my shoulders.. to comfort u...to dry yr tears..hold yr hands and walk on wid life... i'll never leave u all.. n..put the past behind u all..its all over.. live yr life happily..with smiles and not tears.. with happiness and not unhappiness.. can?.. it hurts me to see u all like tis.. i don wanna lose any of u.. not even one. think properly before u all do anytink okaes.. cos.. once its done..it can nvr be replayed yars.. miss u all alot...pls take good care of yrself.. and don be silly.. n to tt particular babe.. yr partner ain't worthy of u.. stop rolling tears for tt person.. n be sure.. to kick tt person outta yr mind..like wad u promised me.. k.. smile gerl.. aft todae..everytink will be okae.. hurt n sadness takes time to heal...its okae.. we'll gif u da time.. to get over everytink.. rem..u still have us.. ur gerls..no matter where...or when.. kaes.. =)

+=pEaCe!!..bUt i'M tiRed..=S =+

2005-01-21T02:18:00.000-08:00

hallooss ppl..been some kinda war at my bloggie as u all can see...but everytinks ended..=).. peAce~.. to everyone..hmmms.. i tink its sorta too foolish n childish to shoot them back n they shoot back..nvrending yar... great they understood too..=D.. happie.. haiis... but i'm tirreeddd.... went to sch in e morning.. left at 3 plus..den went to orchard wid jiE n jIe fU.. to shoP!!... aFt tt proceeding on to Bugis.. non stop okae.. n i'm realli tired of walking.. but..i wanted to buy my tinks.. i still needa go shoppin tis sat or fri..hahas.. get my shoes..n some more clothes n accessories.. wahahas.. new year's coming!!... =D.. *anG baOs..*.. heees..though i din buy much...but..still tired dono y.hahas.. reNcE met us up at bugis aft his cca meeting... den we walked n walked.. he helped me carry my shoppin bag...wahahas.. so sWeEeeT of him..hahahas.. =P.. thanx RenCe.. though u did try puttin my tinks into da rubbish bin..u dumbdumb..hahahas.. den we travelled dwn to tampines S11..to eat?...but i n rEnCe din eat much..hahas.. den kOr n Yu xIanG met us up.. but they realli anti-social..sit until so far..hahas..den i scolded kOr jus now..wahahas.. who ask him don tok... muahahas.. sorta quarrelled wid him jus now..but i guess we r okae again?...hais..thanks reNcE for making me laugh once again while i wasn't feelin too good..=).. one of my gerls called me jus now..she was feeling so sad... relationship prob again..haiis... ppl..listen to me once again..be sTrOng..pls..for me.. for ppl who care abt u all...don gif up so easily.. esp to ppl who don treasure u all at all.. get me?.. live yr life da wae u wan it to be n for yrself..not for them.. esp when they don treasure wad u have done for dem at all.. thanks babe..for promising u wld be strong n nvr fall down again.. u said tt for me..u would be strong.. keep yr promise kaes.. cos..i nvr wanna see ane of yr tears to roll down yr pretty faces again.. smile k babes..love u all.. remember.. even if the whole world is gone...i will nvr be gone by yr sides.. =)..kaes gerls.. miss yew all.. =D

cRaZeEe~

2005-01-19T04:18:00.000-08:00

okaE..some ppl..who have no sense of anytink came into my blog..and messed it up..ppl..pls get your life and live it MEANINGFULLY..don waste yr time by puttin craps in here..as well as wasting my space too.. omG.. cant stand ppl like u all..reading ppl's blog n den commenting on how i wan to describe the gerl i hate..wad has it got to do wid u all in the first place?..i din even sae u all..n how did u all noe if it's yr fren?..when i din even mention her name..oni CY..explain it to me.. n i'll see if wad u r tinking is rite?.. hahas..ppl...pls la.. grow up..bet u all are either 17..or older.. be more matured can.. n stop being sooo childish by destroying ppl's blog.. bet u all have betta tinks to do den placing rubbish here?..the world would be a better place if such tinks don happen.. tink of wad u all did.. n let it go thru ur brain..tink properly..did i ven offend u all frm da start?..if no..den why r u all goin against me.. pls.. grow up..n handle tinks more maturely.. spittin at one another does no good to anyone.. n wun help in anytink..any unhappiness..talk it out.. n i feel tt puttin reasons into unreasonable minds r of no use.. n i trust everyone is a reasonable person. tink of it.

/..-uNweLL..bUt hApPiE =P-..\

2005-01-18T09:13:00.000-08:00

harloss ppl.. sorrie for not updating yest...my bro sat at the com till 6 plus tis morning.. so..cant possibly wait..plus.. i ain't feeling well.. and yest..i was down in da drains again.. but..thanks jiE and RenCe.. for yr accompany.. =D.. felt betta.. jiE and rEnCe kept laughing.. making me laugh too.. yah..sort of.. trying to make me smile..i did gerl n renCe...no worries.. truthfully speaking...=).. we met up yest nite.. n i pushed deArdEaR's meeting awae.. dono why..jus don feel like seeing him.. i dono wad has happened btw us.. i feel there's a blur pitch black hole in btw us.. and in anytime...i'm gonna fall rtie thru the hole..and outta of da relationship.. cos.. i dono realli how he felt..does he still love her?..
haiis.. yest went out at 7 plus den met jiE at tea valley at downtown east..we ordered my fav guo tie.. and i drank aloe vera lemon pearl.. damn nice..hahas.. the lemon drink makes u feel..refreshed yar.. n she ordered fries and strawberry shake.. - -" so we sat down dere..toked.. ate..drank.. till 9 plus.. den okae..sth bad happened. i felt real unwell.. but i din took it too hard..jus tried to bear wid da pain..and we went into the arcade n played bish bish bash champion!!..hahahas.. e one tt lets u hit till ur hands go tired?..hahas.. cos i wanted to vent out my unhappiness..hahas.. and jie payed for the card $5 balance.. all spent on the hitting stuffs..hahas.. all for me.. thanks jie.. love u lottss..and reNce.. thanks for keeping me laughing and talking on the phone.. it was indeed a pity tt u cant come out..=S.. cos of ur games..tMd..but it's okae.. thanks for talking to me.. and making me laugh..again. i must sae.. u are indeed my laughing angel..=P.thnks rEnCe.. den afT meEtIng jIe.. i brought along da cakes i wanted to pass to dEaRdeAr.. den i went to meet him..aint feeling well..but i still travelled there.. in da end..i was given black face at 11 plus..i walked off.. sayin bye to sean and fion.. and left even though sean asked me to wait.haiis.was tinking wad for?..since he was pissed.i cried and went to jie hse..aft tt we smsed and i asked to meet..we sat dwn there till 12 plus.. talked.. and i'm glad.. tinks are toked out.. i still gave him attitude.. he was still pissed. but on da wae back on cab..i smsed him. and when i reached hm.. he replied tinks..i din expect.. real touched by his reply.. he gave me his promise..nvr to leave me again.. and i promised him too..i'll gif my best. thanks deardear. i've owaes tot..i din mean anytink to u..=X.. sorrie cant meet todae again..but tis time..i have work on last minute.. =D.. sorrie yars.. jus wanna sae thanks to deardear for understanding...so forgiving.. realli.. cant find another him in da world.. i'm glad..god bless him to be wid me and gave me all the tender care and love i desire.. love deardear lotts.. =)
haiis.. okae..i got up at 6 am jus now.. and wanted to go jogging..but guess wad.. i was feeling wobbly in the legs.. and rather giddy..backaches..n i feel like puking.. oMG. i dono how to survive ltr.. n yes. i need to be on my wae back..to my 2nd home again.but i don wish to go..not so fast.. haiis. working as cashier ltr..guess there'll be lots of gossiping wid wEn, jIe and mE in counter..hahas.. missin em oreadi..hahas.. erGhs. da pain jus wun stop. stupid... its okae.. sooo.. maybe i'll update tonite.. if dere's anytink on..=D..tata ppL.. and take care yars.. all da bez to ppl who are having exams.. esp dEaRdeAr..muMmiE.. anD sEaN..=)

*..i fouNd mY pArTneR iN liFe.. dA oNe wHo cArEs aNd loVeS mE aS wHo i aM.. tRuSt iS wAd wE hAvE tO giF eAcH oTheR.. aNd fAiTh iS wAd wE tAkE fRm eAcH oThEr..*

~haiis~

2005-01-16T15:34:00.000-08:00

haiis..i dono wad's wrong and rite to some ppl sometimes.. nan dao.. going after my own dream is wrong?..haiis.. i realli dono wad to sae.. sometimes.. some ppl realli hurt u wid wad they sae.. xin hao tong.. shui neng ming bai?...i dono wad shud i do or wae to please everyone.. or maybe..its true... i cant possibly please every single soul on earth... maybe.. as long as i have my gerls..n frens.. i shud be satisfied.yah..i am.. but.. asking for my parents support n love isit too much?.. i don get it sometimes.. why isit..i cant possibly get their support on my own dream or goals. hahas..yah..maybe..i've been a failure.. but wad's wrong wid goin after my own dream since young. i din ask much frm dem.. wad more could they all ask for?.. i did my best in every single piece of exams.. scoring better each term..but wad do they see?.nothing..nothing at all. i've had enuf. leave for good?. its dumb. being in a world. whereby u cant even differentiate who's really nice and not. i dono.. confusion.tt's wad i have in my mind. how i wish.. i weren't born wid my parents. parents who don look as if they love..parents who don support me each time. i don understand why ppl change so fast.too fast for me to accept. maybe. i'm realli leaving. a period of time. for me to cool down.tink. of wad is life all abt. =)

`::=eMotIoNaL oR tOtFuL?=::`

2005-01-16T04:24:00.000-08:00

heys...k..its 3 plus in da morning again..n i'm waking up at 6 tmr..which is rather impossible.. ahahas.. don care anewae.. hmms. well... as usual..i force myself to slp till 2pm todae..bathed.. came online for awhile n off to work i go.. n tis.. is owaes a good time for me to tiNk. tink of every single piece of thing tt can possibly come into my mind.. well. him. my gerls. studies. work. future.. yea.. n well.. jus made me wanna cry..again... hais k ppl.. i noe..i'm still in da process of learning to be stronger...promise u all i will.. kaes.. jus gimme..time.. to adjust.. get over tinks.. get on wif life.. n yah.. time is e tink i need.. haiis.. sorrie gerls.. noe..i've been da one telling u all to be strong n yet here i am being so weak.erghs. sorrie. but.. yah..time n more time..i'll get over it..i promise. hahas.. hmmm... work was. okae. fun.. but not as nutty as yest.. well one tink WaS nuTtY!. tt manager of mine did stH..well..oni cartel ppl who's working todae noe bahs.. n laO pA!!..stop laughing. u idiot.. humpphs.. diaoss.. laO pA lauGhed until his whole face red like tomatoes..hahahas.. damn funny.. but.. okae. he was laughing at me!. dumb. erghs. wEn oso tio.lalalas~.. hmmm.. kkaes.. work was rather tiring..n yah..IvaN fell.. so stupid da floor. i hate tt floor outside pantry.sucks. cos it owaes make ppl fall.. i fell once..yest reNcE fell..todae..iVan.. n he bumped his head. tt was like*oUcH* n customers todae..sucks too. for some.. like..table 11.. n table ONE. even 12. okae..table ONE n ELEVEN was the worst grps kaes. esP table ONE. got $$ so wad..tis don gif u ane reason to gif ur bloody attitude. n so wad even if u noe jaC. u aint as close to her anewae. u're a big faker too. puiis. despise ppl like dem. pisSed. kkaes..enuf of work huhs.. tots tots tots.. well.. tinking of leaving singapore n be gone.. for a long period of time.. if i haf da ability..hahas.. well..yes..in my dreams though.. haiis..
noe wad. ever heard of a tale? that says long long time ago.. in the world..everybody was in pairs. but dono for wad reason, cupid seperated dem and place dem in different parts of the world.. n some ppl now spend half of their lives looking for the other part of dem.. n yet.. some jus cant be bothered. for me.. i believe in fate. fate somehw helps bring 2 ppl tog..married..have family..n last forever.. n they mite not be the same couple cupid put tog in da first place many years ago.. sometimes..tinks change.. u'll never know how and why they change.they jus do. and maybe.sometinks were jus never meant to be.. yarrs?.. well..all i can sae is treasure whomever u haf arnd u.. n take notice of even the smallest tinks happening arnd u..even the smallest roles of ppl arnd u.. u never noe..sumtimes..they jus bring the biggest changes to yr life. unexpected huhs?.. well..life's like that.. at times.. we don notice ppl whom we haf arnd us.. even simple frens that jus sae "hi" for once they see u.. and when sth occurs.. u realise..they were the guardian angels beside u all along.. bringing u happiness..joy and laughter u nvr once had.. u never noe.. i do haf one guardian angel by me all along.. well..how we got to becum so close?..weird story though..hahas..
i hated him on da first dae we met n talked. he's stupid okae. tt's all i can tink of..he's sumone so proud n irritating..hahas..den..we worked tog on one dae which was totally unexpected. i trained him SW.. well..god knows.. on that particular dae..we started name calling.. as in..the friendly wae..n guess wad.. one dae we jus became real close frens. buddies. we toked on sms n phone.. he made me smile n brought laughter back to my world. he woke me up making sure i'm never late each dae. he cheers me up and helps me out. holds me up each time i fall. makes fun of me but owaes apologise aft tt.. million thanks wun be able to repay wad he had given out to me.. but he nvr expects any returns. glad to noe him..i'm happie to have hated him frm the start..to bring us both close tog as frens.. i dono wad my life would be if i've nvr known him..if he weren't my good buddy..he wldn't make me laugh..my life would have no real serious laughters n smiles.. cos of him.. i can be happie..even for a short time. thanks. realli thanks.. n u noe whu u are..*ReNce* =D
n of cos..tO:my gerls... the ones whu never failed to pick up my calls..sms me.. back me up..holding on to me..drying my tears...hushing me.. staying wid me.. huggin me.. giving my advices.. n bringing back my smiles.. i'm glad to noe..all of u... da ones who made my life as meaningful as this.. and u all noe hu u all are too. WeN..jIe..Fi..MiN..jEsS..eM..thanks for being the torches of my life..lighting my life up owaes..
these few daes.. i noticed..i started to miss everyone who once stepped into my life.. no matter are they still in my life or not.. i don care.. u all left footprints all over my heart.. n now..i'm tracing them back slowly..one by one.. i recalled.. every single piece of memories i could. .am i dying soon or wad?..hahahas...siiaos.. =X..
hmms.. deardear asked me to meet him ltr. i told him its up to him to decide. yar.. i've oreadi given up.uh uh... i did. now.. he makes the decisions.. i'm not going to anymore.. now...i'm neither going to take frm him..nor am i givin out lots.. i've decided.. painful memories..shall be the past.
to hiM: well..notink much to sae though.. we have our own lives now.. we have our own time... and yar..u are rite..we don haf to meet everytime.. uh uh.. i do agree.. ain't saying u r wrong in saying tt.. being back wid u.. makes me go thru the lessons.. of learning to be strong.. n independent.. n even learning nvr to take tinks too hard.. yar.. u haf ur rites to keep tinks u wan to..memories purpose?i don realli care.. realli.. i've said it once n am going to sae it again now.. u have ur freedom to do tinks u like..keep tinks u wan.. and tok to whoever it pleases u.. no offences of cos.. =D.. yes.i love u.. but maybe.only when u've really really gotten over someone.?..ask yrself tis.. is tt special place in ur heart n life..hers?..or mine? tink it thru. ain't being contradicting. jus wanna confirm..don wanna carry on a fairy tale wid oni imaginations and yet no realisticness.. yars?**i've waited all my life..to cross tis line..to the only tink tt's true.. so i will not hide..it's time to try..anytink to be wid u..**..well.. one true tink..i do miss u. so badly, tt my tears jus fall. silly huhs?..but..u dono how i feel. n maybe..u'll nvr will...... =)
i wan to live happily.. peacefully and joyfully now.. wid ppl who treasures me.. as who i am.. i no longer trust the outside world.. which consist of only backstabbings..and betrayings.. all these haf come to an end.. in my life though. i ain't gonna let any of tt happen in my life now. we are true to one another..n will owaes be.. we wun lie or kid e other parties.. =].. peace.is all i wanna ask for..well..the rest of my life?. i'm satisfied. wif everytink. everytink i had..have..or having.. thanks ppl..for making my life.. n thanks god..for making me. =)

~ending tis piece of tots..its oreadi 4.24am..nites ppl..~

=====mY liFe wAs nVr mEaNt tO bE..tiLL i mEt aLL oF yEw.. sMiLe ppL.. n da woRLd smiLes wiD yEw..=D =====

++eRgHs.fCK oFF man++*

2005-01-15T04:21:00.000-08:00

i HATE ppl who imitates. HATE. HATE. HATE. so..stop imitatinG!!.. pLS. bE yRsELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... n i haTe coWaRds tOo.. gOd. pLs cure theSe ppL. oMg. sTupiD. get yr life man. don faKe or imItate ppL..it aiN'T fUnnY. =S LaMos. = =""' eRgHs. pIssEd.

[[=weLL wEll..nUtTy...=]]

2005-01-15T03:40:00.000-08:00

hahahas...hi ppl.. its like 3.30am in da morning.. reached hm at 1.30am..wow..kakaes.. todae was.. nuTtY.. n ReaL nuTtY kaes.. went to work at 5.30pm n i saw eM!!!!...so happie...we waved n huggggeeddd!!!..hahahs.. really glad to see her again.. been missing her like hell..hmms.. n yes..our date is next week!!..yea.. n guess wad..daddy asked me to go buy shoes that i like..no matter how ex..as long as i like..i can buy for new yr!!...yeas.. double happiness.. and the third happiness.. i broke my own record.. i made my first step to success.. todae's ration is 3:1..yEaa!!...tink oni MiN noes wad i'm toking abt.. wahahas.. okae fourth happiness... reNcE put working frm thurs to sun.. muahahs..tt means haf a higher chance of meetin..n more chances of nuttiness...=P.. fifth happiness.. noeing that i have such great frens all arnd.. i love dem.. =D.. realli do.. thanks to my nutty club ppl.. esp rEncE.. hErmAn.. LaO pA.. eM..n eVen vaN.. hey..u guys r the bez.. thanks for being nutty n funny todae.. n heRmAn..thanks for saying thanks..hahas.. n to rEnce thanks for being our clowN..or rather maybe partially oni mine..hees... n laO pA..for making me laugh.. thanks to Van for joinin in da fun.. n thanks to eM for joking wid me.. love yew guys... can sae.. it's my bez of da bez dae working.. though it was tiring.. but i jus love working wid u guys.. wid u guys showering da care n concern on me... i'm really glad.. love u all lots n lots.. ...
tiring dae.. talkin online now wid reNce n mIn.. hahas. feel so emotional.. dono whyee.. hao xiang ku.. lots of tinks ran thru my mind da past few daes.. know wad.. i told my frens to be strong.. n they told me they wld try n be strong.. i noe dey can.. i trust dem.. noe they'll strive on till da end n never gif up.. i'll be by u all..trust me k my dearest gerls n guys.. and guess wad.. todae's da encouragement for me.. realli ppl...u've all done damn lots.
been feelin down these few daes.. but i put up a brave front n said i'll be happie..n no matter wad.. i wun fall in front of my frens...esp my gerls.. i wana dem to noe we can be strong n overcome tinks.. but yet..i noe..i'm fallin off soon.. its hard for me to do...but..its all worth it jus for the smiles to be back on their pretti faces.. i dono wad else more to sae.. n wad miN said was true. sumtimes..we jus don realise. haiis..

laO pA--tHankS fOr oWaeS maKiN mE laUgH wiD dA wAe u tOk..n uR joKes..
rEnCe--tHaNks fOr bEiNg dA cLoWn.. mAkiN laMe joKes.. lAuGhiN ouT loUd.. mAkiN mE laugH aLoNg wid u tOo..wAkiN mE uP eVeRytIme..N oWaEs beiNg wId mE... *sPeCiaL tHanKs* e oNe wHo cHeErs uP mY dAe.. =)
hErmAn--tHanKs foR mAkiN mE laUgH tOo... wId uR jOkEs.. n fOr bRiNgiN uR haPpinEsS tO mE..
mIn--tHankS fOr oWaes bEiNg dEre fOR mE..
fiZaH--tHankS fOr sTaNdiN bY n uP fo me eVerYtIme..
wEn--tHaNkS fOr aDviCes.. N oWaeS beiNg wiD mE..
eM--tHanks foR da hUg..n yR eAr.. n uR sWeeT sMiLe..
vAn--tHankS fOr joiNiNg iN da fuN..

many many thanks to all of u.. i'm realli glad to noe all of u all.. n thanks for turning me nuts todae.. esp cos of reNce.hahahs.. kk ppls.. sorta tired.. gtg yars.. take care ppl... caRoL..fIzaH.. luCy..suSiE..aLvI..jOlenE..jAckIe n feLynN.. miss ya gerls.. hope time passes faster to see u all back in sch on thurs again... hahas.. kk ppL.. nites.. n slp early kaes.. *hUugGgss*

~`=tOtS fOr dA dAe....=`~

2005-01-15T01:53:00.000-08:00

hmmms.. well..tots after one whole nite of happenings........

!!-sometimes..sometinks tt were once lost can never be found again..

!!-sometimes..sometinks can never be back the same again..

!!-sometimes..ppl tell u tinks they've never said b4 in the past..

!!-sometimes..ppl sae tinks tt hurt you n yet they are not aware of it..

!!-sometimes..tinks would be better widout the start..

!!-sometimes..tinks would be happier widout that mistake..

!!-sometimes..life would be more interesting if one person was out/in..

!!-and sometimes..life would be more worth living for..if that person cared from the start...

lots of tinks went thru my mind.. many ifs..many maybes.. and many many sometimes.. life is complicated.. and sumtimes..u jus need that someone to be by u in order to overcome all those sickening tinks.. =) smile ppl...n da world smiles wid you..

hAppIe fOr kOr!!

2005-01-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

heEes.. hi...it's me again.. well..finished my report le.. and kor got his liscense!!..he's happie like maddo..hahas.. he told me in msn..well well..happie for him!!..hmmms.. i sae next time ask him drive me to places... guess wad he said.. "i don haf car..y don u buy one for me>"...tMd..hahas.. u no $$ u tink i print money notes arrhh...hahas.. buy oso buy for myself or my future husband..hahahas.. den dowan buy for u.. bLeAhs..!!..hahas.. missed enG lEanG kor alot alot worrs.. so long no tok to him le... n now we have like thousand of tinks to tok abt...but i gotta go soon..meetin deardear...looks like...todae i cant manage to buy e stuffs..hahas.. nvm..maybe tmr..maybe mon..hahas.. kk gotta go le...=D tata ppL.. n wanna sae da biggest thanks to my sweeties.. love u all lots.. thanx for standing by me...

BiTcH:.u piss me off n i hate u to pieces. get out of his life. as well as we gerls' .. u cant win us. so jus fark off n get ur own life. n leave us alone b4 u get sorry. SUcKer. n mind da words coming out of ur foul mouth b4 u get it from any of us gerls. we aren't nice to bully. betta leave us alone n SHOO!

^+-eRggHhsSs..sIaNs!!-+^

2005-01-14T18:44:00.000-08:00

hmmms..hi ppl.. actually wanted to go out wid deardear n sean to town de.. but aft i bathe come out recieved deardear's msg he said sean's not feeling well.. they not goin le..diaooss. hahas... nvm.. i meeting him at 8 later.. muahahas.. kaes...got a call frm mardy jus now.. as told to write a report due to tt stupid incident in cartel tt time..sUaYs.nB.. don sae liaos..ahahas..nvm..its okae...goin to type my report later.. feeling sleepy..dono y.. hmmms.. notink much happen todae i shud sae.. esp when there's no school no work.. guess wad... my mummy found da big cockroach i saw yesterdae.. n she killed it..wahahas.. brave eh.. den ltr i refused to throw it awae..even if it's wrapped up in newspaper...yuCks.. e tot of it.. makes me wanna puke..=P... yeaaa...1 more dae to see em again..wahahahs.. miss her like siaos.. n miss min too... miss all my frens... hais... sch reopen liao... all of dem either busy wif homework or exams..or projs.. well.. i haf got assignments too.. jus tt i haven started...hahas.. cos i have nooo materials.. great..later haf to set off 45 mins earlier gotta go popular to get my materials for the art pieces.. hmmms... next week.. i'll keep myself busy.. wahahas.. cos 'll go shoppin...go hair saloon... go watch movie... go KbOx...yyeeaaa.... n we made da promises... soo...gerLs.. n gUys.. get ready ur $$... n strength... we gotta walk long distances..shops aft shops... n sing all da nite!!!...hees.. cant wait for next week!!.. =D... cant wait to go Perth too...hmmms... hope we'll be able to make it.. kkaes.. update u all agains.. gotta go type my report n send it to maRdY.. all tt banana's fault..hahas..see u all agains.. n ppl...pls take good care of ur health... don fall ill at tis time..esp those havin exams.. mummie... get well soon worS!!...

-tIrEd nItE..-

2005-01-14T03:23:00.000-08:00

....hlos... well..here to blog again.. hmmms.. waited for the com for like 2 hrs..hahas.. guess wad i saw a big cockroach jus now..oh my god.. its so disgusting.. n so yucky.. makes my hair stand.. tryin to find da pesticide yet dono where is it.. i gave up..hahas..ran into my grandma's room to continue watch tv.hahas...well...work was..fun.. wid carie n rie in counter..wahahas.. everyone got to ta pau cakes..*yum yum*..hahaas...n i got waffle fries n muchers..muahahas!!.. okae..wun gain weight de..cos i din eat da whole dae..hahahas.. tired though.. got one viking n da rock~..toopiak.. anewae... fI's rite.. we da gerls..are strong... and wun be affected n fall down easily by some stupid comments on wad some ger makes... hahas.. lame gerl.. no comments on her..wahahas.. wEn was so pissed too...hahas.. hmms.. em msged me jus now..soooo touuchedd..hahas.. din forget me huhs?hees.. okae.. 2 more daes n i'll see her..hahas.. left my apron in carteL..lending to ZaC..hahas.. todae met him while he's skating on his wae back frm work... i'm gonna learn it frm him man!..hahas.. zaC!!... teach meEe!!...=P... okae..needa wait for gerlfren's reply from her mummie.. goin to Perth.. oh god..i hope her mum allows.. =D.. but its okae even if we cant make it tis time.. cos i'll miss deardear n my gerls if i go.. =(
hmmms... ppL..movie next week yars.. shoppin next week too.. n all these outings mean gOsSiPiN!!!...yeaaa..hahahas... esp wid em..wen n fi..wahahas.. plus interestin characters like rence n zac..okae...they make my dae full of colours..hahahs..*yaWns*...soooo tired... hmmms.. meeting deardear tmr.. n yea..he asked me go for xray jus now..again.. n now.. e naggins come frm him more dan my gerls n kor..hahas.. kkk.. i noe..i'll try to remember n go tmr?hahas..
mIn..miss u agains..hahas.. wanna do more gossiping n rem..take good care of urself..

gErLs.. we r sTroNg.. aRen'T wE.. wE wuN faLL tHaT eAsiLy.. n eVen iF oNe faLLs.. dA otHeR suPpoRts hEr n hElPs hEr tHrU.. =D.. tHanX mY geRls.. fOr eVeRytInk...=)

++cOpYrIgHtEd++ ++cOpYrIgHtEd++ +cOpYrIgHtEd++

/*`A fReN is a giFt..fOr uS tO sHaRe..
a giFt fRoM a pAcKaGe mArKeD 'hAndLe wiD cAre"..
i wAn u aLL tO nOe..
U aRe aLL dA bEz gIfTs i've eVeR rEciEveD..
loVe yEw aLL lOts....`*\

!*-LoVe is aBt...
dA tRuSt u hAvE fRm hIm..
e tRuSt u gIf tO hIm..
n dA tRusT u hAve bTw u 2..-*!

~`! sTuPiD pErsOn..iDiOtiC!`~

2005-01-13T11:02:00.000-08:00

tO THAT gAL (CY)...

nB..i'm so pissseeddd... wid some ppl... who dono where she stands... tink she's so great..fark it.. please la.. frm the start it doesn't even concern u.. y shud u care.. u r one freaking big backstabber too... don come n act as if u r the good person.. n as if u've never snatch ppl's loved ones before??!!.. u r one big snatcher too..doing behind ppl's back is a more suckier tink to do..n summore is yr best fren..oh man..i pity her... n pls don act as if u r on good terms wid everyone on yr side.. we haf our ppl too.. jus becos u tink ppl toks n smiles wid u..they like u?...pls lar..use ur birdbrain to tink... frm da start of everytink..nobody here even touch u..who are u to comment on ppl now.. jus becos u tink u are so welcomed by ppl..u can gif stupid comments on all these..who are u man.. u don even noe the whole situation..stop being such a good actress n act wid everyone.. u r one big faker too.. therefore u should be the one to fucK oFF!!! gLad u are nT iN mY liFe.. thank god. n pls. tink of consequences before u make stupid comments. THANKIEW.haas

!`~hApPiE b'DaE!!~`!

2005-01-12T03:26:00.000-08:00

HaPpIe N sWeEt 18th BiRtHdAe To fIzAh!!!...

hahahss... e 'she' i talked abt yest in my entry is fIzaH aka my gerlfren aka my best sweetie..... welll.. carrying da cake n tinks to sch was indeed hard work n more back pains...but my efforts paid off.. thanks to carol..susie..lucy for contributing..n to alvi..jolene n jackie...thanks for helping too!.. everyone cooperated..not leaving out our lecturer michael..hahas.. he joined in the song...half wae thru though..hahas...oh yar..special thanks to lucy..cos she helped to delay FiZaH in the toilet...hahahas.. finding all kinds of topics she could..hahahas...well..know it's difficult task.. but she got the surprise too!.. wahahas.. so happie..when fIzaH walked in.. her face was like shocked.. cos when she walked in..da lites in da room was off.. da cake is lighted n in front of da class.. when i counted 1.2.3!!...everyone sang tog "happy birthday to u..".. hahas.. tink she omost cried... hahahas... well..gerlfren...hope u had a nice n unforgettable b'dae.. wish u all da bez in everytink..hmmms...oh yar.. e pressiees are wad we r to tok abt.. she got one long sleeve blouse frm me...lucy...carol n susie... n she got a bikini gerl frm alvi..jolene n jackie.. hahahas.. we were laughing our heads off.. cos.. wen u pull it down.. u'll noe..hahaaas.. n guess wad.. michael bought her a pressie of 6 potato chips in a big packet aft lunch..- -" and all of us were like "ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh"....hahahahs... unexpected pressie for tt one...hahas.. went to Funan wid lucy to buy ink catridge during lunch..n had our lunch at da foodcourt dere.. food ain't very very tasty though =P.. hmmms..went back n completed our artworks.. went off at 3 plus.. den came hm...rest...den head for work!!.. cashier cashier... tot it wld be quite easy for a wed...but i'm wrong...quite busy... n my back hurrttss!!!!....*sObs*...asked to go for xray liao...okae..naggins start again..hahas..but i noe dey care..thanks ppL.. even deardear smsed me.. asked me abt my back n tell me go for xray too.. haiiss..dono.hahas.. he told me "go for xray..in case even if dere's anytink wrong..u can get it cured fast..." i replied"see first...if sth bad is happening.. i rather i do not know abt it..."..hahas.. tink he oso cant handle me..wahahas.. nvm la...wun die k...=P no worries everyone!!... saw Michelle Xie at work...she's been dere for abt more den half da dae... quite pretty n sweet looking... =D...her figure... *pheeuweet* damn sexy =P.... hmmms... miss min...sooo long no see her le... haiis.. next week mite be goin to watch movie with wendy,rence,em..bla bla.. they all... miss em too..nvm...sat can see her liaos... =)... anewae.. wonder how wld life be.. widout me by deardear's side...n widout him by my side too for 1 week plus... as in...cant contact thru smses.. or phone calls.. haaiss.. know i'll miss him... hmmms.. well... goin to Perth.. maybe.. cos stiu waiting for my babe's ans.. he actualli don let me go...hahas.. he objected... diaooss.. but i said if my fren's going i'm goin too... he dono wad to sae.. all he said was "rem to take care of yrself...realli must take care of yrself.."..hahas.. silly boi.. haven confirm la... u arrh..kk nahs... i'll try calling back yars..hahas.. hmmm... kkaes ppl... gettin tired.. *yaWns*... gotta orh orh liaos... see yew all again~...

~-sAdNeSs + sUrPrIse?-~

2005-01-11T03:22:00.000-08:00

arrllooosss... okae..went to buy shoes yest.. tt stupid salesgerl has no manners at all.. keep givin tt impatient look.. poor working attitude i must sae..hahas..well..cried yest nite wor.. hais.. told deardear i giving up...cos of all tt happened yest n in da past?...den he explains n apologize.. hais.. aft hearing all tt he said.. i feel so comforted..i'm glad i still held on even aft so much happened..he let me noe how much he cared n his love for me is unconditional..thanx deardear... love u too ..hmmms..for todae... i went to sch..visual arts lesson..did da art pieces but i threw dem awae...cos its all my rubbish doing..hahas.. tinking of completing dem by next week... hmmsss.. quite hard to meet tt...but i'll try yars..den aft tt i went home straight wid carol.. n we discussed abt the b'dae surprise for tmr..jus wondering if she would be tOucHeD... hahahas... went to get a chocolate cake jus now.. n went to white sands to get her pressie.. den met up wid deardear at his block dere.. hmmm... den wid him n sean..we walked to another blk.. n they sTudIeD?!.. well.. sEan did sth but not deardear okae..he said he don feel like studying.. win liaos.. i sae until i ran out of saliva n yet he still dowan to studee but sLaCk dwn dere?!... *DeArdEar!!... u haVin ur EXAMS next week okaE...pls study hors..noe u r very smart lar... but still must revise maaa...siLLy boI..*den i went to pack up all da tinks i needa bring tmr.. all da scrap materials... buttons...cloth..straws....plastic spoons...forks..candles.. plus da cake... plus her pressie.. okae.. wonder hw am i goin to carry all these frm my hse to sch?!... nvm...effort worth it.. cos i hope she has a wonderful b'daE!!!...haPpiE b'Dae BaBe~... =D

~!#dIaOdIaOzZzz#!~

2005-01-10T17:56:00.000-08:00

hees... heyhey ppl~...i'm backie..well well.. they haf notink to nag at meee le..wahahahs.. cos i went to da doc jus now.. =P hmm.. da doc..young young de oohh.. but married le..=X..hahas.. hmm...guess wad de doc sae?.. "pls hah.. no squattin for you..no bending of ur back.. don pick up tinks immediately n bend okae.. n go toilet.. use da sit one huh.. no squattin ones for yew.." dot dot dot.. hahas.. he very cute lor.. den gave me 3 daes MC.. i ask him.. "diaos.. need so many days anot.. you bi yao ma..hahas.." den he sae" take .. n rest okie..u need lots of rest n eat de med.. y don i send to take Xray?safer..."my reaction was NO! of cos.. den he sae.."y so big reaction..hahas.. but okae..if u r stiu feelin pain aft these 3 daes.. Xray is a must okae!.."..diaos diaos... hahahas... so all i can do is stand sit or lie.. *soBs* humpptt... wadever.. anewae todae laz dae of M&M.. but i took 1hr off to see doc.. dono leh..now feel abit wasted.. hees... hmmms.. wahaha carol,fizah, kor n rence cant nag me le!!! muahahahs.. =P.. hmms.. deardear apologised cos .. i was so worried yest cos he din reply n his hp was off.. but he said sorry cos his hp got prob.. well.. i do trust him..wad r bgF for if its widout trust yars?hees.. its okae.. i do trust u.. hmmms.. missed jie..she's sick.. hais.. so long no see her le... tmr not goin to work..mummie don let~ =S... irritatin.. humpph.. tmr first dae of visual arts..heard is a male lecturer.. well well.. dono how is he... will he be another boring one? =P hahas.. don dare to tink of tt man.. hahas.. kk la..mus rest more..back pain.. stoopid sia.. okok ppl..see u all again..ltr i'm goin to buy shoes...wahahas.. wid daddy..he payin!!..muahahs..=X anewae.. love yew gerls... *hugggsss*.. thanks for all da concern n care.. hees.. yew guys r jus simply da bez~!!

-+nO sTrEngTh..nO coUrAge.. nO noTinK=S+-

2005-01-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

heys..back to blog again.. hmms.. 10 more minutes b4 going to sch.. well.. bloggin since i din blod yest nite... hais.. well well.. i hate year 2005.. jus hate it.. hais.. my back's pain.. my hand got burnt by the toopiak waffle machine~TmD.. pain.. n my heart..hurts too.. as in.. ya..it jus hurts..hais.. hao nan guo.. tis year's a stupid n suay one.. my frens are falling down..one aft another.. jus when one jus climbed up.. e other fell down.. repetition of everytink.. i hate to see dem fall.. i hate to see the sadness n pain they suffered n had..i hate to see tears rolling down their faces.. i hate all dese.. y cant god jus bless dem wif happiness?... jus hate it man... nan dao ren shen jiu shi nan guo de?.. die dao le jiu hen nan zai pa qi lai ma?.. haiiiss... noe wad?..i'm sorta of worried yet upset.. cos of sth..i dono.i cried myself to slp..one of my babes was feelin down n crying too..but i acted happie n i din wan her to noe.. i don haf the heart to tell her i'm upset too.. cos i noe..she needs me to be dere.. i cant fall in front of her.. hais.. i dono wad to do liaos. i lost my courage n strength.. continue walking on is hard for me.. i dono wad to do at the present moment.. i don have the strength nor courage to face all dese liao.. i realli wanna gif up.. realli... hais..whoos~hold on..rence called me........
hahas.. he's lattteee!!!... muahahas.. cos his bus journey took a very very long time...diiaaooss.. hahas.. got accident in front of e road he's travelling..hahahas.. hmmm... okae...continuing my storee.. i tink tt babes..we gotta be strong.. n not fall down anymore.. if u all keep fallin down one aft another like now... i tink i cant hold on ane longer too.. haiis.. i fallin down the verge too.. but all i wish for is u all to be well..safe n happy.. tt's all.. don wish to see yr tears fallin dwn.. don wish to see u all de sadness.. be happie k gerls.. love yew all.. we can overcome it.. i trust it.. hais... k..i goin to sch liaos.. if not late.. havin tt music n movement e last lesson..dancing ltr..wid my bad back.. hahas.. westlife song.. hope we'll haf lots of fun yea ppl?...hees.. see yew all arnd soon.... take care yar..
anewae.. min.. fizah.. em.. wendy.. miss u all alots.. rem..we're going to meet one dae n shop..gossip.. n be crazy.. miss yew all.. take good care n rem wad i said.. =) *sMiLes*

+..mIxTurE oF feeLiNgs?!!...dOtZzzZzz..+

2005-01-08T02:23:00.000-08:00

heyhey...sorrie worr...to carol..fizah..korkor n rence.. i din go see doc... though i promised u all.. not my fault..is tt toopiak clinic not open!!...cant blame me..hahas.. n todae..i lazzee go... sorrriiieee... k nahs.. maybe tues morning or wad den i see if u still pain la huhs.. =P.. know u all will start naggin again... noe u all care for me..but no worries okae... =) well well.. todae was tiring..but i enjoyed myself... cos met deardear at 7am... den we met up wid Sean n FiOn...we den took cab down to Changi Airport Terminal 1..hahahs..to send seaN n deardear's fren called Zhen Ying Jie bahs.. going back to China.. den they had SUBWAY for breakfast...i had oni 1 milo..cos not used to eating breakfast i guess..wahahas.. well...sean's was the mooosssttt expensive..$10++... diaooss...hahas..den we went outside for awhile..well..guys smoked..as usual..we slacked.. den went in to tok to their fren..aft she went off..we took skytrain to Terminal 2!!..took bus 53 n changed to 17 halfwae to their area.. slacked under sean's blk for awhile..den sEan n fiOn went to sean's hse..while i went to deardear's house.. since his daddy at hm.. he played games.. i sat dere.. looked.. n feel sleepy..waahahs.. aft they were out..i went to deardear's bed n slept!!..but got woken up halfwae cos deardear ask his maid to cook for us..den tell me wakie don slp n eat~..woke me up 2 times!!..tMD...nvm..aft eating i went back to slp again~..bahahas.. tis time wid aircon!!..den deardear joined me ltr..we slept n met sean n fiOn at bball court.. as usual guys played bball.. n we gurls went to da void deck n talked~...talked alot wors.. =P.. den de guys went hm bathe.. n we were meeting ltr for din din!!...i sat n watched channel 5 while waiting for deardear to bathe..den we met dem n went down to Loyang Point to mum mum!.. ate n walked arnd for awhile.. den took bus 3..n i took all da wae hm~~... finally..by da time i reached hm it's 10 plus loh!!.. hahas..one long dae.. but i enjoyed it wid deardear..fiOn n sEaN.. =D buuutt.. b4 leaving Loyang Point.. i heard deardear sae one tink..n i felt mixed?ddiiaaoooss.. hmmm heard.. ba chor mee. . . n all i had in mind was..dot dot dot.. hais.. n i tot he tot of her again..hahas.. hais.. no la..mus haf confidence in him wor.. n he told me sth todae.. *secretssss*.. wahahas.. hmmms.. i found da song "i dReam" le!!..hope we can use it for da dance on mondae.. cos i tink lyrics more compatible..well..but the idea was given by Fizah.. not me!!hahas.. n i e-mailed dem le.. *yaWns*..sLping soon.. woke up at 5.20am todaes.. hahas..kk everybodi...i going off le.. don miss me wors~ =P.. ahahas.. n carol..rence..korkor..n fizah.. i'll see da doc if i cant tahan la kaes?.... *huggies*.. thanks for caring.. love ya all.. =) heEs..n min!!!... i miss u alot gerl.. wait for my paydae..we'll go shop n walk n gossip again okaes?... hou xiong lei wor!!...wad abt u? =P see ya arnd k babe.. *huuUgGssSss*

-=..LalAlaLasSss..=-

2005-01-07T18:39:00.000-08:00

hMm.. yest din blog...hahas.. gort work norhs... i'm so suuaaayyyy!!!huumpt..aft one tired dae.. i fell down.. tMd.. n hurt my back.. n rite wrist.. toopid!.. but..my rite wrist's okae le.. jus my back.. whole back of the left side is in pain.. seeing doctor later... haiiisss.. sianns.. kor,rence,carol,lucy,susie n fizah... thanx for yr care todae n yest.. hees.. yayayyyaaa.. i'm goin to see docccc... okae?...hahas.. tink will be okae de.. no worries everyone!~.. =P lalala.. hmmms.. these two daes de music n movement.. very sians. =S hahas.. mus make music instrument...n poems..bla bla bla bla... wahahas.. hmmms.. dono wad to sae le.. hais.. meeting deardear ltr.. din tell him i havin great pain..i dowan him to worry.. hees.. it's okae.. will be fine.. no worries.. =) well.. nowadaes.. i encountered real sad tinks tt leave me not knowin wad to do.. but todae...tinks shud be okae le..at least..for now ba.. aft wad deardear tell me.. i'm happie.. to noe.. his decision. err.. though its only for now.. but i believe even if sth bad is to happen in da future..we'll still overcome it.. becos.. as long as we haf the trust n confidence.. we can make it happen.. thanx for the encouragement babY.. love ya loottsss.. n to kor,pert n rence..thanx for yr concern nehss.. n to zac..thanks for helping me up n everytink.. u ppl r da bez.. n to min..thanx for accompanyin me tt few daes.. i realli needed that pillar of support.. *sMiLeS* =D well.. for dose who's havin exams soon.. jia you wors!!.. can do it de everyone~.. tAke caRe!!

!!-sUsHiNe aFt rAiN =P-!!

2005-01-06T02:39:00.000-08:00

hmmms.. well well... todae woke up at 1 plus in da aftnoon.. got woken up by my buddy's call.. *yaWns*.. hahas.. well.. to confirm tt movie time n place norhs..but i said i dono.. hahas.. well.. aft tt..went out to the livin room n saw don!! hahas... espected yars.. cos he was running abt n talking non stop..as usual..hahas.. but once i stepped out of my rm..he saw me..he called out in a sweet n cute voice.."HuiJun jiejie....."..hahas.. so swweeettt... he jus briten up my noon~.. hahas.. aft tt he sat down n ate wid me.. den went into my room n brought out hs 2 cuties..hahas.. the ones he loovvee... da doggie n da porcupine..hahas.. he omost brought hm.. he gei gei ask me "i put back hor?"...hahas.. hmms.. kids.. jus so cute..=P.. aft tt.. slacked..n listened to music.. den my budz call me again to confirm da timing.. den i went to bathe..bla bla bla.. n went out.. n met HUDA at the interchange... so happie!!!... misSed da sEc fRenS..exchanged phone nos..cos i changed mine.. den hugged each other n went off..got onto mrt n saw yun xiu..ber...marie.. da twins.. jansen?..n another guy...all frm choir!!.. my juniors..=P..hees.. so happie... met sooo many frens.. but they got off at tam..so soon.. kinda missed dem..hahas..hmm..den proceed to bugis for movie!!.. KuNg fU huStLe.. hahahas.. we anyhw seat..cos cldn't find da seats in dark..hahas.. its okae..enjoyed anewae.. we laughed like nobody's business... diaos..hahahas.. hmm.. aft tt we parted n i went to meet deardear~.. hmmms.. he was doing his homewk.. n talkin to his fren.. but i felt happie..even if i was to sit beside him n jus watch him in silence.. hais.. but...i treated him badly todae..sorta gave him my attitude again..maybe..cos of wad happen yest?..haiis...hmms.. jus feeling down.. dono y.. suddenly..i cried.. in silence.. quickly wiped off as i dowan him to see.. but tears jus kept rolling down..i jus kept wiping.. n i held them back till i reached da bus stop. he gave me attitude too.. cos.. i did it first.. i deserved it..=(.. but it's all okae now.. we toked tinks out.. n i promised nvr to gif him my attitude again.. cos i noe.. how much i actually mean to him now.. n yes.. he has my trust n everytink.. i love him jus da wae he loves me.. i'm glad.. he din gif up on me.. despite my attitude proBs.. thanx darling. i'll keep my promise.. and like wad u said jus now.. "we can n will be happie.."n"wo xian zai ai de ren shi ni.."thanks for all u've said to me.. i'm realli touched.. n u made me speechless..jus da smiles u brought back hangin on my face..love u lottss.. *muacckks* n happie one mtH woRs~...hao kuai le...ying wei..wo zhi dao..wo hai you ni..he heng duo de peng you zai zhi chi wo...thanx..for everytink..everyone!love ya guys...~ *sMiLes* n special thanks to my budz and min.. for peiing me todae.. n being dere for me.. *HUUGGGSSSS*

~// Ta HaI sHi Bu dOnG..//~

2005-01-05T02:58:00.000-08:00

... yea... my babe is back..love and missed her lots...but.. i mite be gone.. hahas.. now..tinks are hard for me to accept.. i dono wad to do.. hahas.. hais.. well..todae's supposed to be happie..but i'm not.. todae's our 1st mth le~.. hahas.. =).. sumtimes.. guys are jus soooo stupid.. they sae tinks which hurt da gerls and wanna make us accept da hurtful words.. n maybe... tt gerl jus cant do it?.. haf dey ever tot of wad would happen if da gerl gets hugely affected by wad he has said?.. well.. tink tt guys haf no time.. or rather no interests in tinking abt da gerls.. =P..sorrie guyss.. well..maybe these don apply to ALL guys.. wahahas.. hmmm.. babe( u noe whu u are)..i'm tired.. of everytink.. hmmms.. heard of a story..real selfish.. n i hate da gerl in it.. n yet.. i still encouraged the other party to let it go n be frens.. hahas.. so stupiak of me.. hais.. sometimes.. life's like that.. when u've jus overcame one obstacle.. another bigger one would land in yr wae..n leave u not knowing wad to do at all.. hais.. i dono wad to sae actually.. i oni know.. i miss da past.. da past frens.. da past him.. da past happiness i had.. i wan it back.. is it ever possible..hahahas.. hais... well.. sumtimes in life.. tink over a decision properly n thoroughly.. u mite nvr expect the outcome.. =) even if someone mite gets hurt.. tink of ur own happiness.. n da other party u may love.. well..life's selfish..wad can u do?...=)*shrugs*

.."=-wad would u do if i'm gone?
how would u feel if i'm no longer wid u?
who would u be widout me by u?
where would i ever see u appear in again?
n when would i ever see u smile again? -="..

wO haO xIanG kU..kU le.. HuI bI jiaO kUai Le ma?... ='(

::sHe mE dOu bU sHi..haIs::

2005-01-04T03:07:00.000-08:00

well..sum guys..jus SUCKS.n i mean BIG TIME.yea..fark it man... i HATE u gUys.. n i realli do! gEt losT if u all nvr meant to treat gerls well.. they deserve someone betta than a farkers like u all...
i hate da wae sum guys treat da gerls.. hais..wad's tis world cuming too...i'm really down..to da drain..again.. hais.. i tot it's 2005? it's to be a better year?hais.. everytink went wrong.. for my babe.. i hate to see her so upset.. i jus wan everyone arnd me to be happy.. isit too much to ask for?... the world to haf peace..it's nth much too.. hais.. i realli dono wad's wrong.. n deardear told me.. 3 daes nvr see me.. he misses me alot..hais.. well, deardear.. i miss u alot too...how i wish to be in yr huai li again... hais.. tmR is weD... ouR 1sT mtH.. sooo exciTed..hais.. i hope..i'll really be happy on tt dae.. cos.. i still worry for my sweetie.. todae was da start of a new term n da first dae of the module Music and Movement ...hahahs.. it was damn fun..wid all the creating of songs.. playing wid instruments.. singing and dancing.. jus llooovveee tis module..hahas.. n i remember the "chicken dance"..n even the "dinosaur dance".. fun wan't it.. hahas.. we laughed our hearts out.. oh yah..n not forgettin da parachutes games..hahas.. me..fizah..alvina.. jolene.. felynn n alwin had great fun tryin to play da game... we jus keep laughing n enjoyed it like nobody's business.. wahahaa...hais.. hao xi wang mei tian dou neng zhe yang kai xin..hmmms.. todae's work was okae..rather fun..wid herman n jie..hahas.. but sorta miss baby..hahas.. xi wang ming tian hui geng hao.. anywae..gettin tired le..tink i'll end here.. missing my deardear... n worryin abt my sweetie..hais.. how i wish.. i am like a young child.. live each dae wif laughter n joy..no worries.. no sadness.. =(

^nEewWw bLoGgY!!^

2005-01-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

pHeeeuwEeT...i lOooVe tIs bLoGgy mAn..wahahaas...aLL thaNx tO Y qiNg ai de min!!... =D.. she helped me wid it okaes...hahas.. proud of her work...muahahas... nice rite?!...i love da words.. "if every dream i haf is you..i wanna sleep forever..." hais... i miss deardear le..alot... dono y.. i find mysef getting more n more emotional nowadaes... i get upset n let my tears fall very easily.. hais.. both of us have school now.. n seldom get to meet... but jus twice a week i also happie.. hees.. even if i were to sit dwn dere n watch him study..i'm satisfied too.. jus like tt dae.. hmms..worked like hell todae... cashier+dessert+sandwich...dYiN..haha.. very tired.. somemore..sch's starting tmr... hmmm.. wel..fri mite be going for a movie.. to relax again..hahahas.. hmm...jus to tink back on my xMas n nEw yR...well well... had great fun though.. it's short period..
*24tH dEc'04* >>> haD diNnEr at carteL sigLap... where i worked..hahas... den went to KboX.. to countdown.. wahahas.. exchanged presiies..n guess wad..i got a chicken dustbin?!.. - -"..but..it was cuuteee.. haf legs de.. lols..too bad wei qiang n calista cant join in da fun.. =(..
*25tH dEc'04*>>>hAd a paRtee aT mY hSe..sMaLL one...jac..pat..gin...jes..fion...sean.. calista.. wei qiang..shai...deardear n another guy...hahahs..tt's all man.. so lonely..hahas.. aft tt at nite..10 plus..me deardear n fion n sean went play pool at downtown..wahahas.. widout calista n weiqiang again..=(
*31sT dEc'04*>>>went out at 9 pm..to javen's chalet..so sianss..hahaha.. cos i din noe anyone dere.. tmd..hahas.. den deardear pei me sms.. wahaha.. den he said tt he's meetin me at downtown.. aft tt arnd 10 plus..i met up wid deardear..went to walk n sat at aranda country club..very lameee- -"..wahahas.. den...booked pool table aft sean called.. saw benedict n ppl dere..den i met wid mummie!!...i saw alex..wenze..hongyi..li wei..le ying.. nicholas.. daniel.. hahas.. wow.. fun man.. saw all old frenss..haha... den they played pool till 12 plus.. while me..fion n mummie went out to 'countdown'...n bought da spRays!!.. wanted to spray da 2 guYs..in da end.. we ended up sprayin one another wid it.. great fun..aft tt..went hm change at 2 plus den went to eat at geylang~...wheeS!! we ordered tian ji porridge.. satays.. n stingray.. but me n deardear don dare eat tian ji..wahahas.. i saw dem killed it once..derefore..i nvr touched dem.. ..so scary can.. but..it was yummy..for da satay n stingray!!.. hMm..aFt tt..on car..was so tired.. lied in deardear's huai li n fell asleep... so comforting.. feel like slping like tt every nite.. i noe it's impossible for now..wahahas.. hmmm.. you xiang ta le.. hais.. ='(
well..todae's da 3rd oF jaN 2005 le... 2 more daes to me n deardear's one mtH~.. so eXcitEd..goT hiS giFts liaO.. =P.. hmmm a new year..a new start for everyone.. hope all unhappiness would flow wid 2004 n awae.. may dere be no more natural or man made disasters in year 2005... n may everyone be blessed wid good health n happiness.. so many unhappy tinks happen in 2004.. n i hope i can forget everytink n lead a happie n free life of my own world..n i hope to continue my DPL by 2005... =D
tO aLL mY dEaReSt buDz...
*mIn(qing ai de)..JaC(jie)..fIzAh(gerlfren)..wEndY(baby)..eM(darlin)..tErEnCe(1 of my aliens..hahas..)..wEnLonG(kor)..gaOliAnG(koR)..jEss(mEi)..liyIn(nu eR)..bEr(meI)....
>tHanx for accompanyin me all dese while.. esp jac min n fizah... =D.... well... thanx for bringin a smile to my face and fill my life wid laughter.. n sharing all my sorrows wid me.. giving me advices and guiding me along da wae.. widout u all.. i dono wad n how i'll be now.. thankiew.. for every single tinks... =P..
tO mY dEaRdEaR..2005 is here... n may we forget all da unhappy tinks n allow dem to leave wid 2004... i'm happie to haf u back in my life.. n i wan u to noe..u r as impt to me as hw i'm as impt to u too.. like wad we sae.. we'll walk down our lives together... n hold on tight.. we'll nvr lose each other again.. i love yew..
hMms..k nahs.. written damn lots.. hais...heart pain again... as in real heart..hahas.. nvm de la.. slping looohhh... very very tiredd... *yaWns*..goin to orhorh le.. see u all soon!!.. oH yar... pEiwEN!!!...fiX da daTe..!!!... miss u~